Oooo very intriguing!
Kariah-Belle Nadirè stood next to her best friend, Akiio, as the two young women put on their greaves and gauntlets, preparing for the trail ahead. Her squad has been on the military aircraft for over a day now, and were soon to be upon their destination.
The young woman was so anxious she felt as though she would puke any minute. Yet she couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face.
I think you meant greaves, not graves in the first sentence.
I knew i spelt that right. Autocorrect made ne doubt myself.
“Welcome, Comissara! The news of your glorious victory—“ that’s when he noticed what was left of his lace cuff tied round my wrist. He did well at hiding his feelings going on smoothly with his speech, but his eyes strayed to it, verifying that the rusty-coloured rag was once a pristine strip of beautiful fabric. His eyes darkened: the hint at the cost of our success hit home. I knew that neither wine nor kisses would wash the shadow away. Yes, I yearned to try, and, yes, he had to know.
Why are you restricted, is this for a contest?
Hm, okay. The dialogue tags still seems weird to me, but oh well. I didn’t really get the ‘And not die with her’ part, but the first part definitely comes out!
Will’s stomach grumbled for food as they entered the Bel`vaz estate. He could smell the savory scent of dinner being consumed in the dining room just off the foyer. Nervous, not wanting to disturb Mia, Will started up the staircase with Alexander in his arms. Viau followed Will with Julian. Will quietly pointed to a guestroom a short distance from Alexander’s bedroom, and a maid rushed over to help Viau with the unknown child.
hmmmmm after posting that, it looks like it be hard to follow
Mostly it is because we walked into the situation, i.e. Alexander being carried in someone’s arms, rather than being on someone’s arm, and a bunch of characters that appear right after Alexander is mentioned. If they are all well established it might not be that bad.
She does not want to drink the rainwater because she is fasting as a part of the mourning rites. I need a stronger closure for this paragraph, but I cannot come up with it.
The rain had finally started. I squeezed my lips against the temptation to slurp the drops, but I let the soothing moisture run into my tired eyes. Before we left the shrine, I caught a sight of the Idezzians. Naturally, the ended up gravitating together, Vanozza standing right next to Nirav. He looked deflated in the morning light, the conversion rate of his jewels to death evident to him; but she… she was intoxicated by the dark glory of the sojourn. She still did not believe in death, and had never seen anyone die for her. Well, I was hungry for fame and fortune once, though mostly I was just hungry.
Longer than some of my paragraphs and unedited, but I’m having a lot of fun with this scene!
A glint of movement to my left caused me to seize up. Ten burnt-red legs poked out of the shadows in the crevice, and their owner, an insectoid creature began weaving its way across the stone in front of me. Low hisses indicated that this crevice was its domain, and I was an unwelcome intruder. My tongue grew dry and swollen, pressing against the sides and roof of my mouth. The creature was two hands long, five times as large as the crabs that lived in the streams back home. My right knuckle-bones screamed as they gripped the stone behind me. Intense itches radiated down my neck and across my back. Had my shoddy prayer to the ancestors truly been offensive enough to merit this turn of events?
My last paragraph I wrote isn’t super exciting, but it is necessary to the plot.
Adam sat in front of Tally in her small apartment, applying a layer of concealer onto the scars on her face. They had stopped at a local market after work and, much to Tally’s dismay, purchased a variety of makeup products. On the way home, Tally confessed that she had no idea how to even apply makeup, let alone use it to cover up scars. She was half afraid that Adam would mock her for never bothering to learn, but instead he insisted that he could apply it and that they would practice tonight at her apartment. It was somewhat of a surprise when he offered to stay with her longer, especially since he ordinarily left after walking her home. Tally had offered her couch multiple times for him to crash on, but he always insisted that he had lodgings elsewhere. She was extremely curious as to where he went at night, but never asked out of respect for his privacy. Besides, a man that no one could see could probably sleep just about anywhere he wanted to, therefore a couch might not be as appealing to him as his other arrangements.
It’s exciting. It makes me curious as to what happened before that.
Here’s my last paragraph. I decided that I’m going to post another and share it, because I’m proud of how far I’m coming with this chapter. I’m not even close to my 1K mark, but it’s a start.
She did as she was told. A searing heat of pain rushed through her veins, as ink formed in its trails. Wanda gripped her arm tightly, gritting her teeth, as the ink swirled in loops and circles, overlapping each other. She released a blood-curdling cry that echoed throughout the library, tears brimming the edge of her eyes. The librarian pursed his lips in disapproval and shook his head. The pain had slowly dissipated, leaving only a throbbing sensation as a note of its arrival. With the back of her hand, she wiped off the beads of sweat that formed on her forehead.
He had a bright smile upon his face, pleased by his creation. “You’re wondering what that was, correct,” he asked her, biting his cheeks to stop the smile from stretching wider.
Wanda could only nod. “You see,” he started to say, “when you walked into my building, we made an agreement: You would tell me something that my library could not, and as we agreed on this arrangement, we swore ––”
“On our life’s magic,” she whispered in horror, still rubbing her arm.
That sounds awesome, I may have to check that out
I waved as the toy squad paraded before me, shaking the piazza every so often with their battle cry of “Idezza!” Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Nirav and Soffika on their way somewhere. He dragged his feet, as if drawn magnetically to the piazza. I smiled, but his enraptured eyes were on the bloom of Idezza’s womanhood. He loved Idezza, so no wonder he preferred the cheerful display of patriotic fervour over the mourning ceremony. A cruel ghost hand squeezed my chest. I wagged a high price tag for the war he craved under his nose, while Vanozza made it look like a carnival.
Is someone going to war?
In the middle of one, yes.
is this from Warmage Sixteen?
Ass or chest?
He’s a tiddy man. I just know it.
The plastic conformer plumped up the patchwork flap of his eyelid to its once natural shape now that the swelling had receded and the wound had healed without incident over the past two months, but the slice from his hairline to his cheek through had rendered some of the connective structures and nerve damage too tedious for the medical staff to address. He held no lasting resentment towards them for their negligence; they were consistently overworked and lacked all the necessary equipment for such delicate repairs, but the chasm of baby pink scar tissue confirmed that he would never have the mobility in that side of his face to fully furrow his brow or blink with what they had salvaged of his eyelid again. Anyone who looked at him would see how his life held horrible violence and he would bare the evidence of this trauma for all his life, unable to conceal and lie towards normalcy again. The choice to be anything but what he really was had been cut away from him, but it had never really been a choice to begin with.
Lmao. Im an ass type of guy.