Short Story Reading (with payment)

My Story
When South City fell to the Wolves, six-year-old ewe lamb Little White leaves her home to reach the only haven for the sheep, the Safety Zone, an area in the city protected by foreign beasts. On her way, through the blood-stained streets of what was once her flourishing hometown, she makes both horrifying and shocking discoveries.

Sheep is an allegorical short story inspired by accounts of a forgotten genocide.

DISCLAIMER: strong stomach required
Please read this story only because you’re interested.

What I’m looking for
Mostly feedback on the plot (Is it coherent? Is the dialogue fine? Are there parts that I can cut off or that I should elaborate?) and the interpretation of the metaphor (if possible).

I’ll read text just as long (~2000 words). It doesn’t matter how many chapters they make. I read all genres (including poetry), but no erotica.

Please leave a link of your book in the comments and only start reading when I reply (so that I can keep track). Please reply once you’re done, so that I can proceed to the payment.

Thank you!

b u m p i t y - b u m p


I don’t need payment. It was a short read, and I was intrigued by the choice of animals to depict a war story. It’s something not commonly seen, so I thought, why not check it out?

It was a very good read with a good amount of dialogue and introspection from Little White. I definitely followed the plot just fine, even with my few questions as I read that I believe were meant to be small mysteries until the end (for example, who are the wolves?).

Personally, there’s not much I would change. Another person already pointed out small, common writing mistakes. So besides proofreading and line-editing to make some sections flow correctly, I think this is a great short story! Although, I’d categorize this as even shorter than the typical short story. Basically what you said, a short, allegorical tale.

I’m curious, what do you plan to do with this story? It doesn’t seem like WP is best suited for it based on the deeper, more meaningful allusions and really short length.

1 Like

Hey, I know you! I’m in!

1 Like

Great! Thanks.

Do you prefer the feedback here or as a comment on your story?

1 Like

Either way is fine.

The simple answer would be to gain a larger audience. I feel that there are things that everyone needs to be aware of - although many of us can enjoy their life without ever encountering similar events. Humanity is bound to repeat its mistakes if most of us know nothing about them. Moreover, understanding these events can help us appreciate others and our own life better.

The more complex answer is to improve this story so that it can reach audience of different backgrounds and find a platform where I can effectively promote this along with my other stories, which all tackle contemporary issues or aspects of human nature.

Yes, I’ve also felt this. I love Wattpad and the stories here, but I’ve been feeling that the style of my short stories is different from the majority of the works. I’ve also found it difficult to look for critics and readers in general due to my stories’ topics.

Do you have any suggestions, both to receive more feedback and to promote this type of stories?

Oooh, I’m not the best person to ask this because I’m still fairly new and getting used to WP. xD I just returned to this site after being only on it for a few days when I first joined, lol. But it’s simple to tell exactly what kind of stories are prevalent on this site for even newbie users. I also hear so much from word of mouth and on other sites since WP is so huge.

For promotion, WP in general doesn’t have any good promotion methods. It’s partly because they hold an enormous amount of stories and the largest community, but also because they don’t have the best algorithms in place to support new or niche stories, especially stories like yours which are allegorical. Thus, those that search for niche, are very small. And then, it’s hard to break into the larger audiences because it’s swamped.

I think also the difficulty lies with your story being so short. I don’t mean for you to lengthen it as I believe it packs more of a punch this way. It’s also very clear, so I wouldn’t like to see it being “diluted.” Even if a site had better support algorithms in place, most readers wouldn’t necessarily come back to read it again or share simply due to it being a one-shot type story. This is more on reader behavior than anything else.

And as you mentioned, this type of topic is hard for some to digest. In fact, without my prior knowledge and interest in deeper human, ethical, and philosophical+psychological issues, I probably wouldn’t have picked it up. I might not have even grasped the depth of the significance being conveyed either. I definitely would have understood the whole reveal of wolves as being the same as sheep, but I would not have understood what this speaks about and entails for humanity. So in that sense, many readers wouldn’t be able to properly appreciate the artistic and meaningful purpose of your writing and intention.

This would serve as good dip in the feet for similar, but longer length stories of yours. I just don’t think that on its own, it can be promoted very well. But used to promote other longer stories of yours, yes, I think this is possible.

The best tactic is to do what you’re currently doing, asking in the forums. Maybe you can start a topic on war and human nature allegories and then subtly tie it in with your story—like, I wrote this type of story topic, but what do you think about the popularity of interest of such stories? how can it be appealed to a larger audience? By engaging in a wider discussion, maybe you can get more bites on your actual story and eventually people who are interested and care to read stories in that topic.

1 Like

Yes, the algorithms do seem to have a preference for certain lengths and topics. The same goes for the majority of the audience. Shorter stories are also read faster and more likely to be left there.

Hmmm… that’s a very interesting suggestion. I’ll keep it in mind.

Thanks for the reading my work and for all the advice! Hope to see you around.

1 Like

I adored this short, and I mean that 100%. Thought it’s a mostly descriptive story, you have a very elegant way with words that keeps the reader’s - at least in my case - attention and exudes a lot of emotion. I love the use of metaphors, I’m very fond of the brutal way you describe the bloodbath that is war. Gives it a very realistic feel.

Good job, mate!

1 Like

Awww, glad to hear you enjoyed it, metaphors and descriptions! Is there any work you would like me to review?

I honestly enjoyed reading it, so no worries.

If it speaks to you, feel free to check out my new story (there’s only 1 chapter for now), but please don’t feel any pressure to it.


1 Like

Sure! Reading it right now. Would you like me to leave comments in your book or in your inbox?

Also, I left a follow-up question in your inbox. I would love if you could check it out. Thank you!

I prefer on the book, than I can easily read it back later! Thanks a lot!

I’ve seen your question but I’m about to go out for the day, so I’ll reply to it tonight! Want to take my time to answer, hahaha. (Belgian Time)

1 Like

That’s actually a good point. Would you mind posting your review in my book too? Haha, sorry for all these follow-ups. Thanks a lot!

I’m also going out and will review your book when I’m back.


This topic was automatically closed 30 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.