Summary Help, Please!

Hi everyone, I need help with a summary! I like the intro, but I feel like it gives too much away. I don’t know how else to word it, I’m hitting a writer’s block, so does anyone have ideas? They could inspire me… Thank you! Summary below:

**Every year since the beginning of time, the moon covers the sun for one hour, blanketing the world in complete darkness. And every year since the beginning of that darkness, the people of Syna retreat into the capital city’s towering walls to wait out the shadows and the demons that lurk inside them, hunting for their next kill… **

For nineteen years, fear of the dark has kept Evoni Lastelle and her family alive. When nightwalkers descend on their village and rip her life apart, she flees to the one place she knows she will be safe: Idalia, the City of Light.

But surviving in Idalia might just be more dangerous than her poor village in the north. The power that protects the city of Idalia is fading, and once the light dies, darkness will reign, and the demons will come. If Evoni wants to save her skin, she must first save her country, even if it means allying herself with ghosts from her past and the very demons she’s supposed to hate. As lies are exposed and forces are unleashed, Evoni will come face to face with the darkness she’s feared all her life and discover she might be the one to save her country- or doom it forever.

Also, opinions on the cover?

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I quite like the summary, but think it would do better without the first paragraph. ‘For nineteen years, fear of the dark has kept Evoni Lastelle and her family alive.’ Is a bang-up hook for a story, much more so than the actual first line. You have enough interesting setting detail in the last too paragraphs, you really just don’t need the first one.

On the cover, it’s very attractive and professional except for the color of the title. The contrast between the title and background is too small, making the title hard to read, even in full blown-up form, much less when scrolling throuch covers on the phone app. Everything else though is great, sharp images, nice colors, nice composition, it gived me a clear idea of genre and tone.

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The first part is confusing.

One hour of total darkness… How often? Everyday?

One hour doesn’t seem too threatening in all honesty.

Then you talk about darkness reigning if the power dies. But with 24 hours in a day, and only 1 hour being dark, it seems like there could be other ways to save power for that one hour…

A lot of the second half is too vague.

It’s reading as a very generic “chosen one” type of story.

What makes it different from those other types of stories?

What makes your MC unique? Right now she’s an age and a name, and not much else.

Mentioning at least one other character in the story might help.

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How does she discover the power stores are depleting? Does everyone know this?

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I was thinking the same about the first paragraph, I just thought it needed some kind of intro into how the world is actually set up.

@BridgesTunnels One hour of darkness around the world once a year, no light or anything. It doesn’t seem threatening, but once you understand what lurks in the dark, that one hour could mean life or death for some people-- and in Evoni’s village, it mostly means death.
I do not want this to read as a “chosen type” because she is far from favored and she isn’t the only one who can help. Thank you, I should probably mention other people, but I don’t want to give too much away all at once. There are at least four other main characters, but I can’t introduce them without giving away spoilers. To your second post, yes, everyone knows the power stores are depleting. The demons that hunt at night are crossing deeper and deeper inland, when they usually only stick toward the north where the light is weaker.

I’ll have to try and lighten the picture… but thank you!

I would recommend playing around with the font color before changing the whole background image, it would be a shame to mess up those lovely colors. A nice silver or lilac like your initials at the bottom might work, or just the classic white.

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thank you! i need to learn graphic design…

Here’s something along the lines of how I’d begin your blurb —

‪Like every child in her tiny village, Evoni Lastelle was taught to be very afraid of the dark, because when the annual eclipse occurs, the Nightwalkers come out to feed. For nineteen years this fear kept Evoni’s family alive. Then a careless mistake is made and the demons descend on their village. Evoni is the sole survivor, fleeing to the one place she thinks she will be safe - the prosperous city of Idalia.‬

‪Idalia is called “The City of Light” for the power stores which keep everything illuminated and safe during the hunt. But the stores are shrinking, and as they do, the darkness which lurks inside all of its citizens grows stronger instead. Now surviving there might be even more difficult than anything Evoni experienced in her poor hamlet. ‬

——

The last part about what Evoni needs to do to survive is still a bit too vague at the moment to really pull together.

Does she need to find more power? Does she volunteer to work at the power facility? Is that where she potentially uncovers these lies you mention?

Give readers something a touch more concrete or specific.

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Thank you so much! Now that I think about it, the shortage in light and power isn’t one of the main focuses, but it’s what the character will pay attention to and try to alert others of even though no one will listen to her. They don’t want to admit that there is a problem.

I agree, the last part is too vague… I’ll try to come up with something new and more clarifying in the next couple days.

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