I loved this twit so, so, so much (it is a parody of a form response, not an actual response, heh)
I don’t. If I were an agent, I wouldn’t even consider repping him.
NO ONE is entitled to an agent or a publishing deal.
THIS is why agents have “no response means no” policies. Queriers are NOT clients. They are NOT making money for the agents. Agents don’t owe them ANYTHING, not even a response.
This just makes me mad. It’s not clever. It’s rude, and this guy is a dick. That agent dodged a bullet!!
Geez, dood, relax, it’s just a joke. No one actually thinks that (I don’t think).
It is a parody, heh. I don’t think agents actually get responses
But they read Twitter – and check out the social media of writers who query them.
Okay, I took that as a joke, but if they were serious then they just have some kind of disconnect from reality and don’t understand how that sort of thing works. I just assumed it was a dumb joke.
It is a joke. It’s a stupid joke, but still a joke.
Parody is a parody & form letter is impersonal, so they are not doing any personal slandering, just expressing frustrations with the auto rejects–the humor may or may not be to individual liking, but they didn’t put any agent on the spot.
Well, I don’t see it as being clever. Seems just someone who does not understand the process feeling angry at a rejection. The average rate of acceptance is less than one in a hundred, for unsolicited material.
Publishers and agents rarely ever bother to explain the reasons, or hand out free book critiques. Most do not even reply with a rejection. -Which, by the way, is simply a courtesy telling the submitter he can go forward and submit elsewhere. This is because some companies can take months to get to, or finish evaluating a submission. As Authors are abjured not to submit to multiple pubs or venues while a work is under consideration by one, they must wait. So the notice can allow the submission process to go forward quicker, rather than wait some specified maximum time. Considering all that is needed to do that is a postcard with “No” written on it, a standard form letter is actually above and beyond. Once in a great while. an agent or editor may dash off a few extra comments, if he sees the author as a possible future resource, to give encouragement to keep submitting as his skill grows, or the publications focus. changes, but this is quite quite rare. I’ve only received three such rejection letters in my writing life.
This is a problem in submitting short stories of course, due to the expectation that several dozen to a hundred subs will need making over ghastly periods of time to receive an offer for a worthy work, usually for pennies a word. One of the clerical things that drove me away from that market. You almost need to set up a factory process to stay in the market. Writing is the least aggravating part of the whole thing.
Take several deep breaths. In… out… and remember that there are bunnies and kittens and puppies and mice sleeping in flowers (yes, really) and all sorts of super cute things that need your good vibes in this terrible world that aren’t meant to be clever at all, badly or no. Peace and love to you
Different people have different ways of dealing with rejection/build up resilience. That’s how this guy does it.
See? Just let it go and let this picture fill your being with cuteness.
If he can’t change that, I guarantee he will never be published -ever. Agents talk to each other. None of them want to deal with a smart ass. Beating your wife gets no consideration in court from saying well, that’s how I deal with things. Learn to channel you statements in print appropriately, would be my warning. Its just a complaint about a system being one the writer obviously does not comprehend. Therefore, its sad rather than amusing, because it is. Here’s a bag full of flowers and fluffy bunnies you wont EVER see from an agent about a query. .
Commmmmmme onnnn y’all it was funny. There aren’t any literary agents who actually think less of him for this or if there are, there shouldn’t be.
It’s funny, but I agree, it’s also not clever, assuming that letter ever got sent. I either don’t reply, or - if somebody made an effort not to write a standard letter - I thank them. Period. These people talk to each other (just like we authors do).
There are. Because agents get abusive messages and letters and worse from people who think their work is brilliant. This is really not very funny at all if you’ve experienced the abuse.
lol I laughed. Thanks for sharing
Most publishing sites explicitly note not to reply to rejections,in the submission guidelines.
This is hilarious. Why are you lot bothered?