The worst/best ways to write mature (love) scenes

I’ve been thinking about this myself for a while now and decided to ask other people’s opinions on this because this topic interests me a lot and I’d like to see how other writers feel about it.

So, to you, who likes to read or write erotic/mature stories on Wattpad or outside of it. What are some of the worst words or descriptions you’ve read when it comes to a love scene?
One of the worst words I’ve ever seen used is “meat obelisk” for male genitalia.

I know some writers just prefer the “fade to black” option and I personally have nothing against it. I completely understand it in most cases, because (in my experience) you have to first get over your own embarrassment about the topic (I know I often feel like a peeping tom when I try to write sex scenes).
Also, love scenes are the ones I usually get stuck myself because I don’t always know exactly a classy way to execute it without fading to black. I mostly write mature stories where there’s a lot of sexual tension and I do want to show the intimate scenes to my readers, but without it being too trashy or too poetic, if I use too many metaphors, it becomes a hilarious mess of “maybe a love scene/maybe a description of a nature walk by the sunset” kind of thing.

So yeah, it would be cool to hear your opinions about it and if you can think of something far worse than “meat obelisk” or something cooler that has stuck into your mind, feel free to share it :smiley:.

‘Meat obelisk’ is probably the worst one I’ve ever heard lol. Personally I feel like describing body parts too much is kinda cringy. When I write sex scenes, I focus on the emotions of the characters involved. As I like to put it, I don’t write about having sex, I write about making love.

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I also find it challenging to write good romance scenes in my more mature works. Fading to black is a good go to if you’re looking to exclude them, or aren’t ready to write an intimate scene with confidence in your story quite yet. Personally I tend to look at what others have written and try to find a happy medium.

I’ll think ‘well that one was too overboard…’ or ‘I’d like to have some sweeter, fluff interactions after to balance the scene out like this person did’.

A few of the worst ways I’ve ever seen genitalia described in writing were ‘wrinkled pink clam’ for a woman’s intimate parts and ‘throbbing purple sausage’ for a man’s. I think the quality of the scene is determined mostly by word choice and pacing. A friend of mine who basically writes nothing but smut once suggested I imagine how I would prefer the situation to play out if I were in my characters’ shoes. That was a little too weird for me, but maybe it works for some writers. I certainly wouldn’t insult a guy by comparing his manhood to a sausage :joy: I also agree that writing about the anatomy in detail over the emotions is cringy.

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I’ve noticed this too. It easily becomes cringy or clinical (unless it’s a love scene with a doctor in a doctor’s office). And I agree, emotions are a good way to go but I often get too stuck into them and I don’t know how to continue the scene.

There’s a very fine balance between romantic and cringy. Euphemisms outside of common slang make it considerably worse tho

Those two were awesome and hilarious, thanks so much for sharing them and making me laugh :smiley:. I usually try to do that as well, read what others have written and then try to find inspiration for my own scenes.

I’ve come to realize that as long the scene doesn’t creep me out, make me feel uncomfortable or embarrassed, then I usually let it be. I think that’s good advice from your friend, although self-insertion might not always work.

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Yes, that’s why it’s so damn hard to write at times. I can almost any other scene out there, but then I always get stuck at these parts, sometimes even for days.

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Another idea you could try using when you’re stuck is to write the next part before finishing the scene. For example, whatever the characters are doing the morning after. Then go back and think ‘how did they get to this point?’ I’ve used that method a few times and it’s helped snap me out of a rut more than once.

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Meat obelisk?! What the…?! :woman_facepalming:t2:

Personally, when I wrote my ‘sex book’ (as my husband calls it :joy:) I wrote all those scenes in detail, paying attention to the way they moved together so that there were no third arms being mentioned or anything!

Then, in the edit, I cut out at least 30 per cent of what I’d written. The scenes flowed better with less intricate details, but still keeping the ‘who did what to this part’ bits.

The worst word for me is the ‘C word’ for a woman’s parts. I love it as a swear word, but personally it always sounds uncouth and a bit blunt when used in what’s supposed to be a romantic scene… :confounded:

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LOL! Oh my god, that is the best thing I have ever heard! :joy:

I feel like the best way to write intimate scenes is to keep it rather vague on the details, while focusing on the feelings and mood of characters involved. Most people have a general idea of how sex works, but what’s important is how it’s being experienced by the characters involved. I don’t need to know what the guy’s penis is doing or what it looks like (I’d rather not know, actually), just how it’s making the woman feel. Or how she’s making him feel.

Either way, the less descriptions of people’s junk, the less awkward I feel reading a sex scene.

Oh man, I think I’m the opposite. I love the word “cunt” to describe a woman’s parts, especially if it’s part of dirty talk.

But for the love of god, don’t call it a “pussy.” Nothing makes me cringe like that word.

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:joy::joy: Maybe the fact I use it at least once a day when driving has created a negative connotation…

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I wrote a more Victorian wording sex scenes for my Wattpad romance She Kills Elephants and Men because of the setting, and I write straightforward ones for an off-Wattpad turn-of-the century grimdark. I prefer simple selection of words for genitals, and short, unsentimental descriptions for the sexual actions themselves. Touched that, got into this, enjoyed the other thing.

What works for the story and the character is what I go for. Imo, it is impossible to completely divorce the description of the sex scenes of the embarrassment or titillation feeling, that kind of ‘oh, I would die if anyone sees me reading/writing it at work’ thing, but clarity of delivery does wonders.

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LOL! Well, that might be it!

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Quim! That’s a great old-timey word for a woman’s lady parts. It just sounds so elegant.

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That’s actually a good idea. Thanks for that. :slight_smile:. It’s just that my writing style has never allowed much “skipping”. I have a bad habit of getting stuck and if I can’t move on from one scene, then I just wallow in it as long as I can move on. I should really try to break this habit.

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Really, never heard that one. Granted, I haven’t read that much old-timey sex stories so that’s probably one of the main reasons that has eluded me.

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When I read the particular book where that word was used, it pretty quickly dropped me out of the scene and caused me laugh and snicker and read it a couple of times just to make sure I read it right.

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Don’t know why, but this instantly made me think of…

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:joy:

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As far as my work goes, I’m writing contemporary realism, so I don’t need any crazy euphemisms or obscure words.

I generally use the correct anatomical terms, or use him/her/it.

While I tend to keep it fairly to the point, I try to balance out the more graphic or biological portions with some more descriptive phrases that have less to do with depiction of the physical choreography and more to do with the emotional or symbolic dance that is happening.

Depending on the tone of your work you can go pretty deep into the emotional thoughts and feelings.

My traditional “Romance” has a cleaner style/faster pace, more akin to a screenplay in ways, and while I don’t want to get too many internalized passages that can lead to a more flowery prose, I still don’t want it to be just about the ‘slot a into slot b’ or it gets crass.

I try to mix in words like “harder” or “viscous” but twist them a little bit so they aren’t just the same way you’ve seen them in other sex scenes.

So as an example, here are some excerpts from in-between the more precise anatomical phrases and terms for what is going on in one intimate scene ———

I order him. “Harder!”

He obliges and now everything seems to take that command. The edge of the linoleum counter, as it digs into my backside causing a bruise I know I will find tomorrow. My teeth, while I bite my lip trying not to make too much noise, fearful security will interrupt us. Fin’s callused hands, pushing my thighs further apart.

———

I’m chasing something that has been out of my reach for too long and trying not to think about what happens after I snatch this brass ring.

———

I hover above him and look into his eyes. They are maple syrup, all sweet and viscous, trapping me. He kisses me again as I sink slowly down onto him. He sucks in a ragged breath between his teeth. When I envelope him completely his eyelashes flutter closed. I kiss them and he opens them again while we find our rhythm.

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