Ways to annoy a guy

I’m working on outlining a new story idea. My character made a few mistakes in her life, accidentally mistook a goddess for a run-of-the-mill thief, and put a knife to her throat. Long story short, the goddess pays her back thoroughly and she ends up engaged to a faerie prince, stuck in his kingdom, and a bodyguard following her EVERYWHERE so she won’t escape.

I’m looking for ways to annoy the bodyguard endlessly. XD Any ideas?

Giving him a different name and constantly use it.
If she does something and he forbids it, like maybe taking food back to her room, she does it in secret and then orders her bodyguard to take away the rest of it.
Constantly attempting to flee, only to sit in a room like nothing happens after she realizes it won’t work.

Maybe I have some more ideas later.


Building on your last idea, she could hide from him when he’s distracted for a second, make him search all over for her, only to find her in the same place she was before doing the same thing as before.


Find out what his pet peeves are (maybe he doesn’t like clicking your tongue or something) and do it routinely


have her make sexual advances on him

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Have her visit dangerous places.
Or if you’re playing to stereotypes, place the macho bodyguard in a gaggle of girls shopping for clothing or other, scaled to the rating of the story.

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Rearranging furniture, hold and carry stuff needlessly

Spending way too long on the toilet, doing nothing, because he is not allowed to go there.

To have more ideas, could you tell us more about the technology of your world. E.g. is there a thing similar to a cellphone (something to send short messages, maybe through magic.)

Purposely get herself into danger. That’d annoy him if he is forced to protect her.


these are all amazing!

There is, magic water which is essentially the smart phone of the fae world. She can’t use the magic because it only works for people who have a binding contract with the water goddess, which she doesn’t. He does though, so I suppose she could pester him endlessly to look up images of cats if she wanted lol

Sit quietly making a bunch of random noises with mouth for an annoying amount of time. Clicking tongue, blowing raspberries, sucking air through teeth.

Not listening when being spoken to. A childish attitude of always being right, even when presented facts. Asking the same question multiple times.

Is this how the princess acts or the bodyguard? :smirk:

@SymonPude has a good idea! I’d add to that and say, to add insult to injury, not only give him a different name but several different names. She can’t care to “remember” his actual name, and they keep getting worse and worse.

  • She could also address the Prince when talking about him incorrectly; I imagine the disrespect would be very annoying to the guard.

  • See how far she can push him. Poke him, prod him, carelesly toss things behind her and “accidentally hit him” when she’s done with it, like a book.

  • Sing very badly. Make random noises.

  • You know what, narrating what you’re doing can also get pretty annoying, if she’s desperate. “Aaaalright, I’m going to walk…down the hall. And sit here. Should I sit here? Nah. I’ll sit on this other bench. Let’s go down the hall more! I’m thinking maybe we should go to the courtyard. Is the courtyard any good? Nevermind, I don’t care. I do want to rest my feet. I’m sitting down. And I’m just going to sit here.”

  • Talk a lot.

  • You mentioned the magic water. If he’s ever contacting someone with the magic water, she can “photo-bomb” and also start singing badly.

  • Ask questions, let him answer, then have go, “Huhwhat? What was that again?”. He’ll repeat it. “I was only half-listening again, lol. Can you repeat that?” And when he does, she can sometimes say, “Well, that’s a dumb answer.”

  • Make a crown of flowers and just plop it on his head and compliment him. Preferably in front of other women so he gets embarrassed.

  • Edit: Insult his job. “Where did you mess up in life that the only thing you qualified for is to become a guard, standing around, doing nothing? And to make it worse, after all of that training you go through, you’re stuck babysitting me of all things. Wow. Your parents must be proud.”

Some of those are incredibly rude, but…yeah, pick and choose. Whatever works for her!

That’s all I’ve got XD

  • Mock bodyguard about love life/lack thereof

  • Ask personal questions/personal inappropriate questions

  • try to snoop in his (personal?) business

  • complain about bodyguard to others

  • exaggeratedly/mockingly dote on love for prince

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This reminds me of sheldon cooper

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Repeatedly calling his name

Putting things in his hair

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Okay I’ve got a lot. Personal experience too. My boyfriend is so easy to annoy lol
Eating your food as slowly as possible, taking tiny bites and then doing it after being asked to stop.
humming off tune
not talking (if you have a quiet character and extroverted bodyguard)
fidgeting… especially after being asked not to
answering “yes” after being given two or more options
indecisiveness over say… what to get at Mc.Donalds
It;s nice because they’re all little things and he can’t get mad

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Play some rap music.

One suggestion is just to have your main character call his name over and over even if he replies back just still have her say it obnoxiously. Or maybe have her do stupid pranks around the house like replacing the Oreo filling with white toothpaste and feeding it to him, putting Vaseline under a doorknob so when he goes to open it the Vaseline will be all over his hand, balancing a bucket of water on top of the door so when he opens it the water will fall on him, etc etc