Ways to fit my introductions into an opening fight scene?

I’m working on my superhero novel, Atomic, and so far I have had 4 reviewers so far say that they felt the story required more introduction. But I don’t know how to fit in the description without slowing down the chapter? I just want to make sure it grabs the attention, and that it isn’t a boring opening, or one like what Nick mentioned in his AMA.

Any help is appreciated, and thank you! Anyone else having problems with this?

Do you want me to go to your profile and comment in-line?

Only if you want to, I don’t want to take up too much of your precious time.

Hummm… Okay I read through your prologue and some of the first chapter.

My suggestion would be to remove the prologue entirely. It’s an info dump that - if I’m being honest- would have kept me from getting to chapter one if I was just a curious, casual reader.

I found chapter one gripping and compelling. I feel that the information contained in the prologue could be sprinkled throughout the book in a more organic way, allowing the reader to be eased into the world you created.

Show, don’t tell, you know? I don’t want to be told about the mutations and how they happened. I want to see it through the eyes of the characters who lived it.

Anyways, just a suggestion. Everyone’s writing style is different so there’s no “one size fits all” solution.

I look forward to reading your edits. :slight_smile: :tada:

P. S. I’ll add more thoughts in-line. :wink:

Gotcha. Thank you so much for doing the review. Is it easy to follow the characters, and what can I do to alleviate that if it isn’t and maintain the tone?

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In your first chapter I didn’t have any issues following the characters, the action propelled the story forward and each of the heroes stood on their own with individual personalities.

Honestly, if you had reader complaints I don’t agree with them. I think your first chapter is really good.

If I broke it down to line edits I might find something to be nitpicky about. But as far as it being comprehensive, gripping and understandable I don’t think it needed work.

I can’t say there are any plot holes or anything, I mean come on, it’s a first chapter, you have to have questions to entice the reader and leave them wanting to know more.

I give it two thumbs up! :+1: :+1:

Thank you so much for your time. I wasn’t sure it was a problem, but since enough people were saying it I wanted to get a second opinion. I really appreciate all of your help.

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Any time. :slight_smile:

I’m much more picky with line edits. :joy:

I really do feel like your chapter makes sense though. I mean, what do people expect? A complete back story on page one? To me, having questions is good, especially if they’re intriguing ones, because they get you invested.

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See, that’s what I thought but I didn’t want to assume I knew better!

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Not like I do… But I read a LOT and (to me) books that lay everything out for you in the first few pages are SO BORING! :zzz: They lose my interest and I end up not reading them because… well… what’s the point right?!

I do love getting feedback, and it always helps in the journey to becoming a better writer to get criticism and apply the council that’s legit. But at some point it starts to feel like there’s too many cooks in the kitchen. You can’t cater to EVERYONE.

In my opinion, as long as the book is compelling, and the writing isn’t atrocious, I’m a happy camper/reader.

Honestly, mood. And I don’t know about you but it feels icky to me to write out all the obvious backstory first.

Which reminds me I need to read your work!

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Yes! I can’t agree more! Too much back story coming first is a story killer for me!!

Oh thanks! I always appreciate feedback! :smile:

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