Welcome to the Mothership bar and grill

Well, whatever, most of us survived the ale, not much damage done. With the exception of old Gompo, though, who’s stomach didn’t agree with the ships, or the black hole drives. Or the cherrys, who knows what an android can’t stomach.

At least he got a decent funeral and we a had a marvellous opportunity for a wake. Remember when Jenny sung ‘Queen of the Night’ in Gompo’s honour?
Broke a few beer tumblers and the big mirror with her voice.
Come to think of it… what happened to the tentacloid alien she found the next morning in the fridge?

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@jinnis Ummm…yeah…about Gompo…we actually faked his death. And all the donations you people gave went to buy his arse out of debt. He then cleaned out my safe for all the money i was going to use to replace the batches contaminated by those stupid micro submarine. Which of course explains why cherry flavored ale is on sale for half price on any day ending with ‘Y’.

Speaking of which…can I interest you in a cherry flavored I.P.A.

…on the house.

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Nah, sorry, mate, not tonight. Have some hyperdriving to do, and you know how the rim patrol is these days. Can’t risk to lose my license again.

Anyway, it’s getting late. Give my regards to Jenny. And the alien in the fridge!

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As for that alien…it was his partner in crime/ex-cellmate from prison that helped him clean out my safe for the beer money.

Gompo ditched it in there so he wouldn’t have to split the loot. Thats how i know that it was in fact Gompo and not @TheOrangutan (im late on rent) who snatched the money.

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Hm, lets hope they don’t close down your place. Where on this station drifting in hard vacuum shall a wanderer hang out then for a decent drink? Guess will have to hint to a bunch of space tourists this is the real real thing.

Sell them some of the cherry stuff, double price, to fill the cash box again!

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Just got back from the wholesaler who sells me virtual liquors.

I can’t afford to invest in more than one.

So tonight we have a sample of a virual drink that could grace your cup. The discription is as follows.

The beings that live on some planets have created novel solutions to there population problems. One planet had been forced to liquidate whole segments of there population. There deceased members were stored in liquid form with alcohol as a preservative. In doing this the planet tau fete three had unknownly created a drink of both superior quality and unmatched smoothness. It was fruity and light with a smooth aftertaste each cup came with a head of amber hued foam that simply would not quit.

It’s one of the most expensive libations available.

The reason for the name is due to a design found on the bottles themselves. The design when veiwed upsidedown spelled the words “scrambled eggs and brains” in inter-galactic.

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Sounds like a true brainwasher. Or a brainstormer. I’m sure after a few glasses of this holy stuff the customers will talk in tongues. (INow I know where you pick up all these weird story ideas…).
Well, perhaps it’s time for a prolonged happy hour. Can you pass along the olives?

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About those olives…turns out that was how those damn micro submarines infiltrated the bar in the first place. Unfortunately I fell victim to a relabeling ploy.

I had noticed that the label stated ‘Trojan Stuffed Olives’, which in retrospect should have have been a warning, but all the ingredients labels were conveniently obscured by a 50% off sticker. It didn’t help matters that all the samples came in the bottom of mixed drinks. And so, being kinda desperate, more than a bit stoned, about half drunk plus hungery as hell, I had bought a whole pallet of those little bastards.

Further research into the matter revealed that those ‘jars’ were actually ancient prison cells. And the contents that we had assumed to be ‘olives’ were the in fact the accumulated waste products that had been discharged from the individual subs since the time of their original incarceration. Which was sometime during the third age of Garognak, and that ended before our sun even formed.

On the up side i secured a new shipment from some ‘friends’ of mine. Should be in tonite sometime.

On the downside they swiped it from some alien ship found abandoned approximately halfway between our galaxy and the one we call ‘Andromeda’. So its sort of a one shot deal. But at least we know where to stick those olives.

The crates had a label thought, it translates roughly as…

“Vodka, vodkalh, vodoca, victorka and victory are all products made from plants related to the tree of life. They are all used to make a drink that has been proven to be the third best drive nozzle cleaning solvent ever discovered. It is also very popular at hazing rituals for greenhorn engineers wishing to become permanent crewmembers on intergalactic cargo ships.”

Hi, I’m Haruka and please make me feel welcome.



What the hell happened…it smells like burnt rubber and vasiline in here?!?

Those f*ckers from Shawqorian 7 happed. Shh… they left their drones.


Fangles unholy phuckberries! Those plalic faced fools are still here. Lucky for me I caught some space herpes when I crash landed in the Cunlingus Prime System. Those drones won’t stand a chance!

I just don’t feel welcome.

People generally don’t go to bars because they are happy. But since your here.

Pray tell…what ails thee?

I came here because I want to hang out with all of you and I want to feel welcome.

Well a lot of people just ‘ghost’ the feeds they’re interested in. Your welcome here any time. As a matter of fact you can work here as bartender when I’m not around.

All Right!


What’s your name?

It’s easy. If I’m not here, you don’t know where I’m at except for the fact I’m always on the job trying to aquire new and exotic virtual liquors for those mangy beggars that pretend to be customers.

Oh…if the space herpes bug you, just beat the rocket snot out of them with a big stick.