What do I think? Honest Critiquing

Title: The Case Puzzle
Genre: Mystery/Thriller
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/171252991-the-case-puzzle

*I’ll do both.:blush:

Here’s my story! It’s called Corvus. It’s Adventure/Romance
I’ll do both as well! :yellow_heart:
Thanks for considering my book!

https://www.wattpad.com/story/190641540-corvus

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A%20Legacy%20of%20Mist%20and%20Fire

A Legacy of Mist and Fire

New chapters daily
Payment: Return the read. :smiley:

A thousand years apart, three people leave legacies as solemn as mist and as scorching as fire.

Peraphone Gladiadore, the infamous Lady Pirate, used to know the taste of unadulterated pleasure, but now, as a servant to the Fiend, she must satisfy His greed, His wrath, His lust. That is, if she wishes to live another day. But she is sinful like her master, and she will stop at nothing until she collects enough riches to rule an empire.

Sesna and Layn know only poverty and love—nothing about the dynasty’s secrets that force them to live like slaves leagues away from a glittering capital. Their love ties them together, but can they stand on their own when the king himself splits them apart?

Despite living in two different eras, the fates of the three intertwine together—a tapestry crafted by the heavens.

Thank you very much for your efforts!

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The saying goes power comes with responsibility but it also comes with those looking for it. Lucy, a fifteen-year-old redhead, is one of a unique kind of people with the power to use her brain to greater lengths enabling them with special gifts. She and her twin brother, Lucas were separated after the death of her parents. Lucy now lives as a lab rat for a research company, C.R.E.F.T, Creating the Future for Today. A cry for help triggers Lucy, with the help of her friends to search for her long lost twin. Will she find him before it’s too late?

In return, I’ll follow you. Do I give the payment before or after the feedback?

Hello there!

Mentioning votes in the forum is not allowed because it might lead to vote trading :blush: I am going to edit your post.

Thank you for understanding!

Z

Community Ambassador

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title: wishful thinking

genre: teen fiction

link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/193022563-wishful-thinking

blurb: what if i told you that all your dreams could come true in a blink of an eye?

Isidora has spent the last few months of her life grieving the death of her lover. All she wishes for is to be with him once again. She’s cried, begged and prayed to all the Gods she could ever think of. Once she realizes that none of them are in favor of her wishes and loses all hope in trying to meet her soulmate yet again, she stumbles into a mystical flower field that gave her a stepping stone into her dream life.

chapters: 1 (so far)

would really appreciate it if you could take a small portion of your time to read and feedback my work! all my love xx

-wanderdusting

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Title: Loving Her Again
Genre: Teen Fiction
Link:https://www.wattpad.com/story/139049098-loving-her-again
Summary:“What does happiness feels like?” I questioned and turned to face her. I gasped as I saw her tear stricken face.

“It’s a feeling that makes you feel at ease. That you want to experience it everyday. It makes you sane.” she sniffled.

I pursed my lips and turned around to rest my hands on the rail.

“I want to start over.” I whispered.

Novelty of Noah

https://www.wattpad.com/story/180691630-novelty-of-noah

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A young boy situated in a foster home resulted in being mute due to current pain and past trauma. For the first time since what had caused his trauma, he finally allowed himself to be guided back to happiness.

I have followed you and your book awaits in my library!

Hi! Hopefully, you’d check out my story as well!

Alaric Lamos is at the mercy of an unknown, dangerous world.

It started with his 18th birthday, and his sister, Iris Lamos, giving him a blanket eighteen years too late. Now, he woke up in a different place, and they feed him some creature’s balls. Oh, and they say Al’s in a magical world.

Regardless of what the ‘mages’ have told him, Al knows one thing. He needs to find a way home. Except, there seems to be some problems. Firstly, a pretty girl got transported with him. Secondly, the mages don’t know how to send them back, and, thirdly, some dark mages are out to get him.

Isn’t this just great?

https://www.wattpad.com/story/180428252-the-legend-of-alaric-lamos

I’ll give a payment of a follow if accepted!! Thank you so much!

Decision%203
The Barton family led a quiet and peaceful life for the most part. They established residence within a safe neighbourhood, away from the loud life which was following its flow in the busy parts of town. Their days were more or less the same, except for one where the children had accidentally knocked something off the wall.

It was their father’s favourite decoration, and along with its destruction, an empty space came to be on the wall. Anna, their mother, suggested an outing on the sunny summer day to purchase a gift and replace the ornament they had damaged, but little did they know that what they would bring home was nothing other than an end to their peaceful days.

They must face night terrors, unknown noise sources, and the constant sound of rain. But worst of all, they must face the harbinger of a storm; a storm which leaves no rainbows behind.

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/193281236-woman-of-the-rain

Title: The Tag Bearer
Summary: Ellie Young is just one of the many children left in the aftermath of a war that has destroyed humanity.

Her old life has been taken from under her feet, forcing her to march with countless others into a new way of living. Upon arrival, Ellie is given the grim task of being the designated city Tag Bearer, where she meets the cunning and handsome Matthew.

When Matthew gets Ellie caught up in a feud she desperately doesn’t want to be in, Ellie is taken. On her own, she must learn to navigate a destroyed city and the rules of a newly formed corrupt government.
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/161007002-the-tag-bearer
Payment type: follow

Would love if you guys can check out my book.
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Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/139049098-loving-her-again

Hey there! I would appreciate it if you could check out my story c: x

Title: The Drowned God
Genre: Short story / fantasy
Chapters: 1
Blurb: A God cannot be killed.
And yet here he dies.

Everyone knows that a God with a heart is doomed, for it’s heart would be devoured by those who call upon him with their endless desires.
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/185016018-the-drowned-god-✓
Payment: I’ll read your first chapter in exchange c:

Family%20feud

After skipping their annual family reunion for three straight years, Hermione couldn’t make up any more excuses and is forced to go.

With no choice but to tag along was her boyfriend, Draco Malfoy, of course.


I’ve been on a writing hiatus for a year and I would just love an honest critique.
I will be following you as payment, my book so far only has 1 chap posted. tysm!

https://www.wattpad.com/story/193228223-family-feud-dramione

1 Like

It is my first book, so please be honest

“This isn’t happening to you for a reason. Well, one reason. I enjoy it.”

[18+ Only, Mature Content]

Disobedient and independent, she was the first born of House Stark. The heir of the North.
Sadistic and uncaring, he was the bastard of House Bolton. The betrayer of the North.

The joining of two unordinary paths collides in a crash of hatred, lust, and desire.

The story is based on the Game of Thrones plot, with a twist of my own. Mostly the characters are taken from GOT.

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/177663039-stockholm-syndrome-ramsay-bolton

Title: Arya of Sundried Hope

Summary:Captain James Shaw was well loved and well merchant. A merchant who had many secrets which he wished passed onto his daughter, Arya. The one way the captain liked to pass on his ideas was through stories. He told Arya of a grand treasure. A treasure in the form of a jam, now it was not just an old jam. It was a jam that could cure any illness, grant you any wish you had, and it could make you live forever. The downfall was no one knew where it was nor liked the favor all too much. But it jam a treasure worth traveling the world over to find.
Link:https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/172576450-arya-of-sundried-hope-draft
Payment: Follow

Add images

`https://www.wattpad.com/737270574-dauntless-chapter-one

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AUTHOR NOTE: No this is not a fanfic. It’s fiction. It’s has nothing to do with divergent and has every to do with the definition of dauntless!

Kathryn just landed the job of her dreams as a journalist. Things are finally falling into place for her. She’s soaring beyond everyone expectations at work and her rugged handsome editor wants her bad! Just when she’s getting content with her new life here comes a few things to shake it up a bit.
1.Gavins back from the army and it’s not a skinny little boy anymore . All Kathryn wanted was for her childhood best friend to come back home and now that he’s here can she handle it?
2.She stumbles across a big story that can ruin her career but save lives. Will she be able to do what is right? Even if it means having everything she worked for be destroyed?

WILL FOLLOW AND READ WORK

Title: Blue Coat (ongoing)
Genre: Sci-Fi
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/191553844-blue-coat
Description: Far in the future, the population of Earth (at least, what’s left of it) has moved to a planet known as E-2106, Earth having become uninhabitable. The people have been divided (unevenly) into three cities (Apex, Jarkia and Theld), known as the Triangle. Officer Isaac Wilborn is a high-ranked official in Apex, the largest city. He’s also best friends with Valerie Chan, who rules Apex as Chancellor. When rebels attack Apex in an attempt to steal files from the government archives, Isaac’s curiosity rises. He must decide if his heart is truly loyal to Apex. After all, we all have a little rebellion inside of us.

I’d love to read your story! Thanks for your consideration!

Title: Choices (A Hyunjin Fanfiction)
Genre: Fanfiction/ Teen Fiction
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/190170112-choices-a-hyunjin-fanfiction

I followed you and will read your work soon :slight_smile:

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/184125262-darkened