What do you guys think of this monster I created?

So I have had this idea for a monster for some kind of story. It’s a malevolent spirit, that creates a body to interact with the living, out of disposable razor blades. By which I mean she combines each of the individual blades into a form of a female body. But she can disassemble them and make them fly through the air either to eviscerate someone or transport her physical form in a cloud of blades.
I wanted to call her Lady razor, or razor blade, but found that to on the nose so I thought why not use some french, so La Dame Le Rasoir. And in that train of thought why not give her a French accent.
People have long considered that accent sexy, and seductive, and I always found the idea of females killers, acting flirty and seductive towards terrified victims to be very effective of conveying how fucked up and scary they are.
What do you guys think?

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I like it. I think she sounds better for a horror-comedy than a straight horror story.

When she’s in her “human” form, does she look like an ordinary human woman or does she looks like someone made a human statue out of razor blades?

I’d say go for the French, for sure.

No, I can completely relate.

She looks like the human statue one, and I could see her having a sick sense of humor like Freddy Kruger does too.
I was thinking she could have originally been a serial killer, who started off killing hear victims but slitting their wrists and throats with razors so they would look like suicides, but over time evolved where she found she preferred to leave the body mutilated and the horror people showed when they find it and the fear it instills in the community. Not sure how she would die in order to become a spirit though.

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Maybe she was always a spirit instead of a something that died and became a spirit.

I did have this idea that she could have started out as a tulpa, which is a thought that becomes a living being, and was thought up by a writer and takes on a life of her own.

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Sounds scary, but making the monster sexy because she’s female is overdone and annoying. Females aren’t just sexual, we don’t care about being sexual, only guys do for their own pleasure; it just sounds pornographic. Monsters aren’t sexy, and female monsters don’t have to be sexy to be scary or fucked up - like, male monsters aren’t portrayed that way (unless its a shitty twilight movie but that’s not a horror). Doing it like this sounds tacky, like you weren’t trying at all to make something original and truly terrifying.

To genuinely sound scary I’d probably add like black smoke too, so where all the blades form black smoke is floating around it, as if its substance between the blades holding it together. Maybe rusty blades with blood and flesh stuck on them. She’s an all over dark monster, with rusty blades and glints of silver in the light but she sort of has glowing eyes, so that they’re noticeable somehow. I like the name Lady Razor though. A signature kill, too. As in, her victims are killed the same way; you can really do some fucked up shit with that. Height is scary too.

Yasss! Preach! I totally feel you on this. She can have the sense of humour without the sexy thingy attached to it. She may play on emotions to seem sexy but only for seconds before she shows her monstrosity which should be her overwhelming character, or she may just find sexy angering.

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I beg to differ tbh

I really don’t see why people can’t imagine acting sexual can be used as a weapon to inspire fear. Especially for men, and it’s cruel sexual behavior. Imagine men wanting nothing more then for women to come one to them, and a monstrous female being comes after them to rip them apart all the while mocking them with sexual advances, to me that would be terrifying. And like I said fucked up, men in movies and even real life use sexual advances to terrify women. So why couldn’t a women do the same to men, it’s just never really been seen before and some people don’t want to see if because it challenges they perception of women. Which is why is it something to put into horror media. But the truth is women are capable of everything men are and that includes monstrous acts of brutality and cruelty.

And monster’s can be sexy, is just matters what monster we are talking about. Some thing from H.P. Lovecraft no, but let’s say the bride of Frankenstein, some men would say she is sexy, and she still is a monster.
Besides this is a human form created out of an mass or razor blades, there is nothing sexy about it, and that’s the point. She is terrifying and coming onto you, that’s why it’s scary. Think of monsters like Freddie Kruger, some of his mot terrifying and unnerving lines is when he is about to kill or has just killed someone and is then shooting the breeze in a mocking fashion.

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My understanding from @MasterElement’s posts in this thread is that he isn’t ‘making the monster sexy,’ at least not to the reader; she’s merely acting flirtatious to her victims as a means to taunt them while she’s hunting them down, not unlike that tried and true device of having an evil killer call out “come out, come out wherever you are” to their terrified victims as if they were playing an innocent game of Hide & Seek.

In other words, I don’t think the angle of the character is that she’s a sex symbol; i think the angle is that she’s cruel in a darkly humorous way.

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I had another thought on La Dame Le Rasoir earlier today. If you intend her to be a series character (as opposed to a one-shot character), I would recommend having her be permanently destroyed at the end of her debut story.

Then, have all the other stories in the series be prequels. I think this would accomplish two things:

(1) It gives the reader the satisfaction of seeing the villain get her just desserts (one of my pet peeves is when a series villain goes unpunished).

(2) It creates suspense. You know that she won’t be killed in any of the prequel stories because she dies in her debut story; the fact that her survival in the prequels is therefore guaranteed makes it more unlikely (but not necessarily impossible) that any of the victims in the prequel stories will survive (the ones that DO manage to live would be able to defeat her but not manage to destroy her). The villain’s “guaranteed survival” factor is basically a way of stacking the odds against the prequel victims in the reader’s mind and creating narrative tension and intrigue.

Anyway, those are my thoughts. Take care.

He said he wants to make her french, with a french accent, because it’s sexy and seductive and use that to torment her victims. If wants to do that, that’s fine. He asked for our opinions and mine is that its over done and silly. That she’d be more scary if sexual attraction wasn’t a part of it, luring her victims in with the idea of sex with a hot woman only to be murdered is tacky and cheap and lacks imagination. I never said anyone has to agree with me, if you ask for an opinion you’re going to them.

I wasn’t attacking your opinion. I was just stating that I don’t think he’s going down the path that you seem to think he was going down with the character. If I came across as combative, I’m sorry.

I can imagine people using that, it sounds tacky and lacks imagination though. A safe and easy way to get “scares”. You can do it, but everyone else does, too. The perception of women is that we’re already sexualised, you’re not changing anything about a woman until she changes and murders him. Yes we are capable of anything a man, if not worse, but sexual desire and rejection isn’t the most cruel and brutal thing a woman can use against a man to murder. Men use sexual advances, yes but that’s rape or sexual harassment - not seduction.If you want to use the same concept, take consent out of the matter. Have her kidnap him and rape him and then kill him, that’s a perception change towards woman - and honestly far more scary and less dehumanising towards men.
What you’re saying about men in the first paragraph sounds humiliating, tbh. That the most cruel way to murder a man and to scare him is by luring him in and then rejecting him, like sex is the only thing a male cares about and is driven by.

I didn’t think you were, I just read as that he was. I think it’s just the way I type.
He said to me that he wants to lure men in with idea of sex only to be rejected and murdered, as that’s the most cruel and terrifying way to scare a man - which I find insulting to men. Which is the same way men terrifying women, but that isn’t exactly true. Men terrify woman with rape and sexual harassment, being overpowering. In his case, the man has given consent. If he wants to change the perception of women, in that they’re capable of the same thing a man is, then she needs to murder like a man because it “isn’t expected” and what’s scarier than the unexpected? She needs to murder “without consent”. If that makes sense. If she is going to be equally scary as a male monster or monster without gender, she doesn’t need to be sexualised to murder men, she can just do it.

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IIIIdunno.

I’m not arguing here, but I find that sexuality combined with horror can be really effective simply because sex has so many taboos. It’s only appropriate at certain times. Sexuality has the ability to makes us feel ahem good, yes, but it also has the ability to make us extremely uncomfortable. Looking back at the Exorcist, for example. Some of the most sickening moments is hearing that little possessed girl spout off on some HEINOUS sexual comments. Or, if we look at Clive Barker’s works, the leather costumes and body piercings were beyond suggestive, blurring the line between sex and pain. Or Giger’s monster design in Alien, which was intentionally phallic. Again, all of this just to make us squirm and wince. It’s worth mentioning, from a psychological point of view, men inherently do have a base fear of female sexuality. That’s part of the reason harpies (furies?) in mythology are all detailed with exposed breasts, and blood dripping claws. Same can be said for sirens, succubae, etc. I did some research recently on the phenomenon of witch hunts for one of my stories. A whoooole lot of beliefs and “witnesses” claimed that accused witches had mated with Satan, born satanic children, committed incestual acts under Satan’s command. And why? Because, for males, inadequacy is a very primal fear. The idea of possessing or taking a woman for sexual gratification, then having the table flipped and being at their mercy–that story has been told by campfires across various cultures for centuries.

Just thinking out loud. At this point, I’m just interested in conversation. I feel no need to be right about anything. This is an awesome topic, even if it’s hijacked the OPs intent for this page lol

I see what you mean, but I think it’s rather petty to say it’s the worst thing that can happen, that an attractive person rejecting me is the utmost worst. If someone said that about women I’d be insulted, that’s the least scary thing I can think of. Dying itself is worse, anyone scary looking is worse. I just don’t like the idea of saying the most effective and terrifying way of murdering someone is by luring them in with the idea of sex with someone attractive and the worst part about their murder being “ha, I tricked you, you weak male. I don’t want you, I’m a horrifying demon and I’m only going to kill you” “Noooooooo, I’m not getting laid - oh what horror!” ya know?

Being tormented by a razor demon, followed in the shadows, until it’s ready to strike when I’m at my most paranoid, is way scarier. Not some hot slut with her tits out flirting with me, only to morph into a demon when I’m back in their lair who starts teasing me about how she’s rejecting me because I’m inadequate. I don’t think you’d really be thinking about taboo’s or the right and wrong time when you’re about die because there’s now a demon and they’re real and you’re so scared you probably pissed yourself. You’d probably forget all about that as soon she reveals her true self.

Simply put, it’s a really basic and cheap way of being scary. There are far, far worse things I can think of and that have really happened in real life.

I think there’s a more intriguing design in the concept of her entire body being made out of razor blades. The spirit itself existed as female and that can be what lends to the voice, but razor blades exist more of a bane to women out of a patriarchal necessity to remove hair from the female body. I think what needs to happen is that while the spirit is malevolent, what has brought this character to chose their particular victims?

One of my friends is making a character for a DnD game and the character voice they’re using is from a classic noir black-and-white movie, and the actress she showed clips of me to had a very smokey but slight rasp to her voice, which might lend well to mimicking the sound of sharp razors grating against each other from the shadows.

When I imagine a body made out of razor blades, I think of a constantly shifting figure in the vague silhouette of a human woman (think the alien in Annihilation when it begins to mimic the human form). It hits that uncanny valley spot just right, and a character seeing this character in the dark or from a distance may think it’s a person talking to them until its too late.

I think she ought to share a name with one of the razors that is most iconically mass-marketed to women. Cricket, or Venus, or Personna, or something like that.

It would be really hard for her to wear clothes, wouldn’t it? I mean, for more than a minute or two unless she was just standing still. On the other hand it would be really hard for her to be anatomically detailed enough to really require them for a PG rating.

I think there’s a really good/bad way to write this, as horror. There’s this thing that happens where somebody wants somebody else, sexually and possibly more-than-sexually, but for whatever reason never admits it and never acts and never lets them find out. What if your razor demon is driven by such unfulfilled longings, and attacks people because of genuine, hopeless, frustrated sexual desire channeled from others? Perhaps along with so much identification with those others that at those moments it doesn’t understand its own lethal nature. And then the realization, in the bloody aftermath, of “oh no, I did it again, oh no this person I wanted to love is dead now, oh no the completely innocent person whose emotions I’ve been identifying with is going to be in such emotional pain, oh no it’s all my fault” going crazy and weeping bitter razor-edged tears…

IMO, sometimes a good monster is better - has more pathos - when they suffer right along with the victims.