When I was younger, I didn’t have a huge interest in writing books mainly because I hated reading. I enjoyed writing poems and songs—mostly songs. I wanted to be a singer/song-writer for years. Turned out, I suck at singing… and I suck at writing songs because they never made sense.
But at age twelve, I became kind of annoyed at how I couldn’t find my “hidden talent.” And I tried everything that was artistic. Couldn’t draw, couldn’t paint, couldn’t sing, couldn’t write poetry and songs, couldn’t act, couldn’t sing, couldn’t play an instrument… It was very discouraging for me.
It wasn’t until I was hooked on Twilight when writing became an option. Now, when I was 10-11 years old, my sister tried to get me to read the series. At the time, I hated reading, so I told her no and that I’d wait for the movies. At the end of the year, when I was eleven, my sister took me to see it in theaters. It opened up a brand new world for me and I loved every moment of it.
When I was twelve and had the books with me, I began reading them. Took me over a year to do it, but I did it nonetheless. When I finished them, it made me feel inspired. I wanted to write my own stories and create my own worlds. So I opened up a Word document and began writing.
Little did I know, the very first story I wrote was a Twilight fan fiction. I had no idea fan fiction existed, so I claimed it as if it was an original (which it wasn’t… lol). I posted this story, along with many others, on an online website that I played with, with my friend from school. It was called iDressup, but it’s no longer up and running.
Anyway, many of the users gave me great reviews (none of which was a critique, just a bunch of “I love this,” and “This is so cool,” kind of comments). Some of which got inspired to write their own stories.
This was what sparked my interest in wanting to continue to write. To inspire others. It’s still part of my motivation today: I want to make other people feel a certain way so they can do something. Whether that’s reading that particular genre/story, writing in general, or something else entirely (like following their dreams, for example).
But my overall motivation would be the passion I have for writing.
Ever since I was nine, I have suffered from depression. One of the biggest ways that I’ve coped with it was binge eating and that isn’t a healthy way to go around it. I became overweight and now, as an adult, I can’t lose that weight easily. I’ve dealt with so many harsh bumps in my life that I’ve just wanted to give up and commit suicide. I’ve even attempted it once. But writing has helped me through it all. It’s allowed me to think clearer, to let me figure things out, to challenge me, to make me see that life isn’t as it always seems. I have a passion for writing not only because it’s creative and lets me create all sorts of wild scenarios, but also because it’s something I can’t live without. It’s my own little coping mechanism when depression is at its worse. It lets me get through the tough days of when I don’t want to deal with the probelms in my life. It helps me feel like I am in control and that this isn’t it. This isn’t the end of my story. Without writing, without feeling like I have a purpose to tell some kind of story I wanted to tell, without seeing people become inspired and engaged through my stories and have something relate to them…? I probably wouldn’t be here or be alive right now.