Which sounds better?


#1

I have three diffren verisons and I just want to know which sounds better for a curse/Prophecy

  1. When one again becomes two we shall be reborn, a daughter of light and a daughter of chaos. One shall be our awakening another our reckoning. The Anthem of Amaranthine will echo around the world and once more they will Tremble at our feet. We will regain what once was stolen and punish those who stand in our way. We are the daughters of venenum with gold in our veins and poison in our hearts and we shall rise a reckoning.



2 ) When once more, One shatters into two, The sisterhood will be reborn, a child of light and one of darkness will decide our fate. One to destroy and one to rise from the ashes, with gold in our veins and venom in our hearts the Daughters of Venenum, Echos of the Amaranthine will bring a reckoning to the ones who betrayed us and they will tremble at our feet.



  1. They banished us to the shadows, stripped us of our birthrights and forced us to be forgotten in history. They ripped out our wings and forgot we had claws. Once more one shall split into two and we shall awaken from our slumber, with golden veins and hearts of venom One shall bring us strength and raise us from darkness, the other shall bring out destruction. Our fate is ours and once more they will fear the name as the Anthem of Amaranthine will once more ring free, We shall be a reckoning and they will remember our name.

#2

I like two or three


#3

Mostly two. It sounds more like a prophesy.


#4

I like 3! To me it sounds a lot more fluid and interesting


#5

I think number 2


#6

2


#7

3


#8

When 2 and 2 will become 4, one will be minused and 3 shall remain, that shall be deemed the legendary QUICK MATHS.

Jokes aside, 3 is more dark and revengeful type while 2 is more light and focuses on the rising. If your story is dark, then 3 might be good, otherwise go with 2


#9

3


#10

I liked 3 the most out of all of them.


#11

I love number three, especially the beginning. You repeated ‘once more’ three times which bothered me a bit, but jesus, the beginning is EPIC!


#12

Two or three


#13

They all have a tendency to read a bit run-on-sentence-y-ish (this is totally a proper word … of sorts) to me. But, yeah, I’d tend to 3, too.