while we’re young // critiques // cfc

writing
feedback-offered
critiques

#1

helloooo guys

I’m Tia and I’m offering detailed critiques on 1-3 chapters of your book.

Why Me?
I’ve been doing critiques on Wattpad for over 3 years and have had multiple repeat customers. I also promise to not only focus on the bad of your story.

Genres I Critique
Chick Lit
Romance
Teen Fiction
Urban
Mystery
Historical

Payment
The payment is a comment on my book Searching For Christian. But if your book is Christmas themed, it will be free.

Form
*author:
*title:
*subtitle:
*summary
*which chapter(s)
*what you want me to focus on
*anything else:

Rate Me!
If you’d like to, please rate my services on a scale of 1 to 10. You can leave a comment as to why I got that rating as well.


#2

I’ll be the first here, I guess.

Author: sophiea34
Title: Sidewalk Flowers
Summary: Arkenham. On the surface, his life is perfect. Rich, good-looking, and popular, if a bit reserved. But underneath his life is a mess. Divorced parents, recent breakup, and a boatload of other assorted issues.

Isabelle. Foster kid with a nasty history. On the surface she’s fine. Brand new life in a brand new town. Beautiful, athletic, and sarcastic. But underneath, her life is a mess. She’s terrified of moving on again, but she knows her new life is too good to be true. So she lives waiting for the day when she has to pack up again.

She is exactly what he needs, and he is exactly what she needs. But they could easily tear each other apart in the process of trying to come together.

Which chapters: The first three I guess.

What I want focused on: nothing in particular. Maybe wether or not it holds your interest.

Anything else: The story is as much about their individual lives as it is about the romance, so it’s very slow. (They haven’t met yet, and are unlikely to meet until chapter 7 or 8. They’ll meet by chapter 11 or 12 at the latest.)


#3

author: BrookeKuipers
title: Lucas
subtitle: N/A
summary: “Sleep tight, Lilith,” He said, his voice a mere whisper as he stepped away.

“Wait,” I said, my voice a lot louder, cutting through the night. “What’s your name?”

He paused, turning his head back to look at me, his dark eyes holding mine hostage again.

“Lucas,” He replied, a small smirk playing on his lips as he turned his head and continued walking, disappearing into the darkness of the street.


Lilith is haunted by ghouls; they pull her hair, hang from her clothes, and try to hurt her as often as possible. Lucas is a dark, mysterious stranger she keeps seeing around town. The thing is, no one knows who he is - let alone where he’s from.

The more Lilith is drawn to Lucas the harder it is to track him down. He runs hot and cold, constantly turning up and disappearing again. The closer they become, the less Lilith understands and the more the darkness crawls upon them both.

It’s not until Lilith loses everything that they realise their fates are tightly bound, with no chance for escape. Their story is foretold in the stars, in the past, in the future; and there’s not a goddamn thing they can do about it.

  • which chapter(s) 1-3
  • what you want me to focus on Nothing in particular, a bit of everything. Whatever comes to mind - characterisation, spelling, grammar, syntax, plot
  • anything else: Thank you! I will comment as soon as accepted :slight_smile:

#4

Hi! Your request is accepted. I’ll start your request after you complete the payment. Thanks for requesting from me :heart:


#5

Hi! Your request is accepted and your story seems very interesting. I’ll start your request after you complete the payment. Thanks for requesting from me :heart:


#6

I found your story, but you haven’t started posting it yet, so I’m not sure what you want me to comment on.


#7

There’s an extended summary posted in the first part, comment and let me know if it catches your attention, if I added too much information or too little.


#8

Done! Thanks :slight_smile:


#9

Thanks for completing the payment. There’s only one person ahead of you.


#10
  • author: april-jane
  • title: Give me love or take everything
  • subtitle: n/a
  • summary follows the love story of two strangers who fall in love. every chapter is 12 words
  • which chapter(s) all? every chapter is twelve words so the entire story is like 5 mins long
  • what you want me to focus on flow, interesting or not? and would you recommend?
  • anything else: nope! thank you so much!

My book is a romance themed short story! it will take all of 5 minutes to read. should i do the payment now or wait?


#11

Hey April! Your request is accepted. I’ll start your request after you complete the payment. Thanks for requesting from me :heart:


#12

done!


#13

Everyone’s critiques should be out before this upcoming Thursday. @Sophiea34 @BrookeKuipers @april-jane


#14
  • author: GhostsInsideOfMyBed
  • title: Zeitgeist
  • subtitle: none
  • summary Aaliyah Zarren’s job is in trouble.

After a mysterious scandal puts her public relations’ firm on edge, Aaliyah is one step closer to becoming unemployed.

Octavio Castellano makes a horrible decision.

Ever since he was betrayed in his last relationship, Octavio is sick and tired of deceit. He begins to question everything he’s known as he harbors the loss of identity, but gains the desire for revenge and lust.

When they realize that they need each other for their jobs, the lines between their careers and personal lives are blurred to a point of no return.

  • which chapter(s) 1-3
  • what you want me to focus on Perhaps characters and your impression of them as well as plot
  • anything else: This is a slow burn romance, so they don’t meet in the first three chapters, only around chapter 7.

#15

Hi! Your request is accepted. Please complete the payment and keynote me know once you’ve done it.


#16

@april-jane your critique has been posted. I also have a more detailed critique in my google docs. If you have email and want to see it, just pm me your email address and I’ll gladly share it with you. Thanks so much for requesting with me!


#17

@BrookeKuipers your critique has been posted. I also have a more detailed critique in my google docs. If you have email and want to see it, just pm me your email address and I’ll gladly share it with you. Thanks so much for requesting with me!


#18

Hi!

  • author: FieldOfInnocence
  • title: Never Ending Circles
  • subtitle: none
  • summary:

Following the sudden loss of her mother, Violet Oakman has no choice but to move in with her distant grandparents and attend the exclusive Wendell Academy. Determined to make the best of her new situation, Violet plans to keep her head down and avoid trouble at all costs.

But trouble seems to find her, regardless.

Convinced her mother’s death wasn’t an accident, Violet starts receiving threatening messages and so she turns to the only person who can help - Milo Deaver, Wendell Academy’s former golden boy.

  • which chapter(s) 1 (that’s the only chapter i have up, haha)
  • what you want me to focus on Just a general feeling on the story so far, like as a starting point
  • anything else that’s it, thank you!

#19

Hey there! Your request is accepted. Please complete the payment and let me know once you’ve done it.


#20
  • *author: liveandbedaring_07 or Michelle C

  • *title: When Time Runs Out

  • *subtitle: N/A

  • *summary:
    One day the clock runs down and you’re left wondering where all that time was wasted. Sometimes you wonder if you did enough; if you lived enough; if you have the proof to show that you made your time worthwhile.
    Emma Roland has spent every moment of her life living to the fullest. The clothes she wear, the food she eats, and the people she spends her time with are all indications of the way she lived. But there comes a moment when you’re forced to stop and take a breath. Not everything is always so good and so fun; not every moment of your life will have a happy ending. And when Emma is forced into the darkest moment of her life, she fears that nothing will be able to save her.
    Except maybe him.

  • *which chapter(s): There’s only 2 so far so both of them is fine :stuck_out_tongue:

  • *what you want me to focus on: mainly just structure and wording. Also any typical grammar mistakes are great too but I basically want to know if it has a good flow or not.

  • *anything else: Yes. I went to read your story before I posted this and youre teeny little introduction is making me ANXIOUS PLEASE UPDATE IT SOON <3