Will read first five chapters!

feedback-offered
#1

Title says it all!

That’s a lie, obviously, there’s more to be said. First, I’m not a professional. I read quite a bit, and I write quite a bit, and I’m personally hoping to get published one of these days, so I’ve been obsessively trying to learn how to improve my own writing, which means that maybe (just maybe!) I can help you with yours, as well.
I will:
1.) Read your first five chapters
2.) Give at least a good and solid paragraph of review at the bottom of each chapter. This will cover thoughts on your characters (first impressions to ending impressions), thoughts on your plot (is it unique? Am I interested?), thoughts on the flow of things (am I following, is it cohesive?), and whatever else pops up.
3.) Be honest. I will be honest. If I’m not digging it, I’ll let you know, BUT I will let you know why. I won’t be mean, though. That’s not my style.
4.) Encouraging. I’m an encourager. Should be clear from the, “I won’t be mean,” statement (see 4).

Some things to be said:
-I’m not a big fan of romance. It can certainly be in your story, but it can’t be the main thing. Hunger Games is a great example.

  • Please, no poetry. Don’t get me wrong, I write it too. I actually did that before writing my trilogy. It’s just not what I’m aiming to do look at right now.
    -Please only YA (ages 13-18 by wattpad standards, if I’m correct) and up. I’m not game to go below the highschool level. Just a personal preference.
    -No sexually based things. I don’t like books that are heavy on sex scenes. They make me uncomfortable. If there’s one or two (hell, even three), fine. I can roll with it. It just can’t be the focus.

Payment:
Please do read my first five chapters, and give me your thoughts. It can be in-depth or it can just be your thoughts as a reader. Now, if you get started and decide it’s not your thing, that’s fine. As previously seen, I’m picky, too. Just tell me why, if you don’t mind.

Here are the link and description:
https://www.wattpad.com/story/183733754-outrunning-the-color-gray-a-trilogy-book-one

Caleigh (Cal) has vague memories of death when a man named Artemius gives her the choice to become a guardian angel. A light-wielding being meant to protect and serve. In making this choice, she’s left with no memories of her past, save for one that she won’t recall until after her hundred years of training. Added to this, she runs the risk of dying as an angel and becoming one of the countless and isolated stars in the sky. Regardless, she agrees, and even without her memories, Cal is forced to realize that her soul remembers darkness well. As she and her partner, Allete, fight their way through training, they realize that the darkness residing in Cal may very well be her end, even before she gets to earth.

I WILL ONLY BE DOING THIS MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY

First ten I accept will be it for this thread. I’ll open a new one when I’m done :slight_smile:

Cheers!
Nicole Goodspeed

#2

I’m interested :slight_smile:

Title: Shadowbrook: Once Hungry, Twice Bitten
Genre: Vampires (Mature) but that doesn’t come until the middle of the story.
I have 8 chapters :slight_smile:

Summary: If you like mysterious and solitude, then Shadowbrook is the town for you.
One rule, just don’t stay out after dark.
Oh and try to not get bitten.

Erika Smith is a shy girl dealing with an illness, only to have her world turned upside down. Shadowbrook becomes her home where she finally feels she belongs. She hasn’t felt that in such a long time. Erika learns many things along the way, one being love. What she doesn’t know is what hides in the shadows when the sun goes down. It is the test of time for Erika as she battles for her life, hiding a secret that could change everything for the residents of Shadowbrook and of course, the undead.

WARNING- Marked for Mature Readers. Some parts of the story may be triggering to some readers with self-harm and those who suffer from Alcohol abuse.

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/184386533-shadowbrook-once-hungry-twice-bitten-mature?utm_source=web&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share_info

Please let me know when you accept :slight_smile:

#3

I have two stories that might interest you: pick whichever one you think you’d want to read!

https://www.wattpad.com/user/CatC171

Inverted is a paranormal mystery short that is almost complete.

The Song of the Black Sea is a nautical fantasy with merfolk and magic. This is a longer story that is still progressing.

#4

Hey thank you so much doing this!
My story-Silver Bullets

Link-https://www.wattpad.com/story/185385788-silver-bullets-ewa2019

Summary-
HIGHEST RANKING
#4-Suspenseful
#2-must-read
#129-terror
#40-risk
“You’re lying he would never risk his face being seen!”

“For you, he would do anything.”

Just then I heard the chattering of glass and felt a stabbing sensation in my neck. A red tranquilizer was what I found before turning around to see a blurry image of…wait a minute…no…it can’t be!

“Ricardo…” Was the last thing I said before falling out of consciousness.

                                               ----XXX-----

Ricardo Gabriel, powerful and rich. Leyla Maxwell, a 16-year-old trying to avenge her parents’ death. What happens when these two collide and misunderstandings come in the way?
Join Leyla and Ricardo in this beautiful and mysterious adventure of lies, lust, and betrayal.
Will they get their happily ever after or a disastrous end?
Read and find out!

#5

Accepted! I’ll get started on Monday!

#6

I’ll give it a go! You can expect me to get started on Monday :slight_smile:

1 Like
#7

So, I actually already started, “The Song of the Black Sea”. That wasn’t my speed (though not poorly written!), and you’ve already started mine, which I gather wasn’t your thing either. Either way, while I don’t typically read paranormal OR mystery, I can give, “Inverted” a look. As with all the others, I’ll start on Monday. :slight_smile:

#8

Haha, I do many read for reads, i sometimes come across a familiar face! I’d be happy to read more of your work or a different story if that makes more sense to you?

#9

Hello! I have a story you might be interested in. Mine is about an angel like race, so hopefully you’ll like it. I’d love it if you were able to critique it if you are able.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/184259712-paragon
Genre: SciFi/Fantasy
Title: Paragon
Summary: Avery grew up without her father, living on a mountain with her mother. When a stranger turns up on the mountain looking for her father, Avery is thrown into a world that she never dreamed possible. Discovering that she is more than just human, Avery will have to conquer not only a new world but the powers she develops. She will need to understand who and what she is if she is to overcome her enemies and fulfill her destiny as the leader of the Paragon.

#10

Hi there! Here is my story. I’m currently in the works of putting up chapters 4 & (maybe) 5 if I’m not too picky about my writing. Of course, I’d love to see your thoughts on my first three chapters!

Title: Death’s Assassin
Genre: Sci-fi/Action/Thriller
Synopsis: Many years after the human race nearly wipes itself out, society has rebuilt itself under the watchful eye of the Supreme Intelligence, an artificial intelligence created as a means to save the human race. In this world, now known as ‘New Earth’, the Supreme Intelligence has eradicated all hunger, disease, and pain. Even dying is nearly impossible. But not entirely.

Enter Evangeline, a young adult struggling to find her place within this supposed perfect world. After being found on the brink of death and deemed unsavable by the Supreme Intelligence, she is granted what is called the ‘last phone call’ in which a dying human’s consciousness is linked to the person of their choosing in order to say their final goodbyes. But when Evangeline’s choice defies the impossible in both life and death, she is forced to face the consequences of her decision including a deal with Death itself that she cannot refuse.

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/186645306-death's-assassin

#11

Outrunning the Color Gray is Definitely the only full story I’ve got up, so sounds good!

#12

Looks fascinating! Count me in!

1 Like
#13

Title: Last Stand
Genre: Sci-fi/Action/Adventure
Description: Some types of mini stories need to be in the same universe. Welcome to the paper verse. An anarchy of a world and an even better slaughter house. They say there are rules, but you don’t need to follow them. They say the law will catch you, doubt it. Nothing is this world makes sense. So feel at home, drink a beer, settle down for a bit. Cause this is gonna be a bumpy ride.
https://www.wattpad.com/story/186346262-last-stand

#14

Cara, a broken girl is forced to marry Neil Nolland, the ruthless billionaire.
Having faced torturous treatments before, she is sure he is going to hurt her.

As opposed to her belief, Neil isn’t going to hurt her. He might even be in love with her.
Will she accept him, knowing his dark past, crushed by her own?

Will she fall for this self-confessed monster?

https://www.wattpad.com/story/130890890-burn-for-you-rated-r

#15

Title:Landing in Love
Summary:“How did you not have boys swarming you back in the states?” He threw small pebbles into the ocean, skipping them across the water.
“I guess not everyone sees me the way you do, Wes.” I shook my head at him as he flashed me a flashy smile. Wesley Adler was notorious was being apart of “those guys” in high school, the ones that could get any girl they wanted. But, when one of their cousins come for the summer, a flip switched on in Wesley’s head.

Elle Fisher was a sweet girl and with a rough situation. Moving half way across the world, seemed only reasonable. She had a guarded heart but, lived with the words “to stop passing through life.” Could it take a guy like Wesley to help Elle live her life again and maybe fall in love along the way?
Genre:Teen Fiction
https://www.wattpad.com/story/142131956-landing-in-love

#16

I’m game! Give me a couple of days to start (maybe even a week), but I’ll get to this!

#17

So, I have to stick with me, “no romance” thing, here. The description certainly sounds interesting, but It’s just not what I’m looking for. I hope you understand!

1 Like
#18

Thank you so much!

#19

Title: Somebody To You
Genre: au fanfic, lgbt+, romance (it’s mostly about everyday things people go through along with some other things people don’t like to talk about. The romance is kind of just there).
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/173025984-somebody-to-you-➸-bradley-simpson

#21

Title: The Fictionality Of My Life
Genre: Fiction/Fantasy/Sci-Fi/ Romance
Summary: Essie was a normal 17 year old teenager, going on with her normal life-spending time with her best friend Midge, doing her homework, getting good grades, and understanding Fictional events as something that could only happen in books but that was before her best friend introduced her to Ethan Wilson. Midge and Ethan are hiding something. Will she be able to find out what’s wrong?

There are things she never knew about her best friend, but when she finds out about the secret that her best friend had been guarding since forever about another world her world almost falls apart.

Who is Ethan? Is he even from London?

Who is Midge? Is she even the girl Essie has known forever?

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/153445774-the-fictionality-of-my-life

Highest Rankings-
#1 in anotherplanet
#14 in anotheruniverse
#17 in parallelworld
#20 in modernworld
#24 in thrilling
#35 in mylife