Would you be interested in this story?


I’m interested in writing a fairytale retelling. It’s based on various fairy tales (mostly Russian and German I believe) about a swan maiden - a girl with a cloak of feathers allowing her to become a swan. Please let me know if it sounds interesting? Here’s the blurb:

A girl willing to die to give up her magic, and a boy who would do anything to have it.

Lynette and her six sisters are all swans. Each night, they drink the moon and go to the lake. When they shrug on their cloaks, they are transformed into cygnets. For her sister and her mother, this a gift - a blessing - but Lynette doesn’t see it that way. For her, this is a curse, and she is desperate to escape her fate.

Wylan is unhappy with his life. His father is cruel and unloving. His older brother got out as soon as he could, but he left Wylan behind. Alone and tormented by his father and the other boys for being so shy and quiet, Wylan is lost. That is until he spies a swan turn into a girl in a feathered cloak. He knows that this is his way to escape. All he needs to do is steal the girl’s coat.

Their paths cross, and Lynette decides to find a way to let Wylan take her place. If he does, they’ll both finally be free. But it’s not so easy to get rid of the magic coursing through her veins, and it’ll take more than a cloak to turn him into a swan.


Oh, yeah, she knits the shirts from nettles to save her brothers, one ends up with a wing instead of an arm.

The princess swan is another, literary version of a Russian tale, different from a swan lake, following a common pattern of he is a prince, she is a sorceress of great power who helps him reunite with his father.

Why not? Shapeshifting into birds is cool


This story is an interesting mix of the swan turning to human motif and a twist with someone actually wanting it to happen to them. It is a bit vague where you want to go with the conflict. You show us what they want but what are they going to do about it? Are they going to give up and whine like in Twilight? No. Take Harry Potter for example you know that Harry has a problem since he has been pushed into a strange world. Sure it is an opportunity to get away from his abusive home, but he has a lot of enemies in school too and Voldemort is lurking in the shadow ready to destroy everything Harry cares about. Harry clearly has to learn to navigate school to solve his problem. What are your characters going to do to solve their problems? Are they going to cooperate and try to help with each other with their problems? Are they going to try multiple solutions like transformation potions, or deals with withes that will backfire like Disney’s The Little Mermaid? Try to give a slight hint of what’s to come even if you’re going to subvert it later.


Is this going to have the Ugly Duckling as a central point? Because there are about a million ways you could make something really good in that case


It wasn’t based off of that story, but I guess it’s a similar theme since Wylan is abused (like the Ugly Duckling was by the other birds) but he ends up becoming a swan.


Yes, I love fairytale retellings. And this one is a unique twist on the original: the man stealing the woman’s cloak not to make her his bride, but to become a swan himself.


I am doing something similar with mythology, I’d love to read this!


This looks really interesting!


I’d read it! I love Swan Lake and the Six Swans (or fairy tale retellings in general) and I’m incorporating elements of them in my iwn story too.


Thanks! I really hope to keep working on it as soon as I’m done with my current story.
Fairytale retellings are the best, and I especially love it when uncommon fairytales are used! <3