I’ve nudged myself back into writing after a too-long hiatus and am terrified that I lost touch with what I used to enjoy so thoroughly. In light of this, I ask if the description below would grab your attention at all or if not, what should I change?
"Someone or something is snatching innocents from our town and leaving a trail of bodies in their wake. Mutilated bodies. We’ve all become desensitized over the years almost to the cruel end of expecting more horror when we wake up each day.
Baine was the only friend at my sixth birthday party and he was my only friend the day he disappeared. Our Sheriff dragged in his hotshot nephew now that the case has gotten out of hand and all eyes have turned to me not as the suspect, but as the missing phrase to an unfathomable riddle. Grief takes a backseat as I watch the new Detective Donn Cross’ ambitions match my own.
‘I see it in their eyes when they pass me by, slowing down just enough to smile pitifully or click their tongues. They didn’t lose their loved one so they have the right to condescend on my loss instead. Despite it all, I won’t give up on bringing Baine home.’"
The story is called Baine and is already published. The premise is pretty obvious but I plan to throw in quite a few twists, avoid romance cliches if I can and make this story something I’m proud of.