(WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO OUR PRECIOUS STORY?!?!??!?)
(DUDE NO!!! NO NO NO NO!!! NOOOOO!!)
(Can we just ignore that, and keep the story not like that? I just can’t deal with this. WTF is happening)
(Yes, totally. A previous continue-the-story of mine was once somewhat ruined by a poorly placed pregnancy, and I won’t let that happen to this story. I refuse.)
(Ok good thank you. That got to be way too weird, way too fast. Resuming from Post 398)
I slide to the floor, tears gushing from my face. I can hear Kal scolding me when we were in the office, and it just makes me hurt more.
I’m not religious. I was raised in a cult and that has made me eternally skeptical of religion. However, the part of me that was still a child, sitting on the floor of my family’s beat-up-old cult compound, prays - not to any god or person, but to the universe itself, to keep Ed safe.
A some point I black out, the lack of sleep from the past few days finally catching up to me.
And in my strange, blacked-out, depressed sleep, a dream pops into my head.
I’m wandering along the edge of a long river, thick forest on both banks. The line of water stretches far beyond my sight both forward and back.
It is lit by moonlight, and by the orange light of a candle I carry in my hand. Looking into the water, the reflection that stares back at me is one whose eyes are dark and hopeless, irises and pupils blended into nothing but empty void. My reflection - or my - face is covered in small cuts, each deeper than the last. The person I see in the waters terrifies me, causing me to stumble back into a tree, candle in hand.
I loose my grip on it, and the wax and flame connects with the grass. The area around me goes up in flames, which forms rings upon rings, leaving me no other choice but to keep my back against the tree.
Until the tree catches on fire as well, and I am forced to confront the girl in the waters, reminding myself that it’s just me.
Me… but is it really myself anymore? Ever since those… those things appeared in the sky that day, everything has been different. I feel like I’m drowning… and maybe I am.
Maybe I should just accept it.
No. No. I can’t. I can’t just accept this. I have to keep fighting.
(logging off for the night. glad we fixed the pregnancy thing.)
(Yeah, that was way too much. See ya!)
I can feel myself waking up, a sort of icy calm washing over me as the burning riverside begins to fade away.
My eyes snap open, mouth shut tight. The closest clock calls out 8:15 PM. I’ve been asleep for five hours?! In five hours… Ed could… he could’ve… died. My opened eyes are wet with tears as I slowly climb up off the floor, feeling distanced from myself. Feeling as if I wasn’t really inside of my own body, instead that I was just… there. I look back at the ground and, thank god, nothing is there - I’m not dead or astral projecting or something. But I don’t feel like myself.
I blink a few times, and to my horror, every time my eyes shut, I can see the burning forest.
Shaking, I walk over to the door, ready to leave my dorm room and check to see if Ed is okay. But just when I touch the metal door handle, I feel a rush of emotions enter me. A rush of distant visions, of distant voices, telling me that they are coming for me. Disassociating me even more. I snap my hand away and the visions and voices stop. My trembling hand comes to rest again on the door handle and, through my anxiety and fear, I turn it.
As it swings open, a massive wave of pain rushes through me. I hear myself roar in pain, and I crumple onto the floor.
It’s a normal dorm hallway, this shouldn’t be happening. But I feel myself sinking, drowning. Hearing the fire burning, but struggling to breathe in the freezing water. I guess there’s only one thing to do - run.