Writing is lonely.

Let me explain. I’ve writing for, I’d like to think, my entire life. It’s more or less shaped who I am as a person, and I’ve become quite happy with the person I’ve become. Some things have happened over the last few months or so, and I’ve responded by diving further and further into my craft, working tirelessly to improve myself. But here, at the end of the road, I look at my work and marvel at how far it has come, but I look around and see no one around, if you know what I mean. Perhaps I have missed the true point? I’ve chased transcendentalist insight and I’ve spent so much time bickering with idealist friends looking for some root of happiness in everything that I do, and that in itself may be the reason as to why I’m still sad. I’m lonely. Writing can be lonely. It’s dark here, in my office. My coffee is cold, my manuscript is literally plastered on the wall, I feel accomplished, but I feel lonely.

I don’t normally reach out to people for this, or at all really. But if anyone has any advice how to overcome the loneliness, how to find joy in my work again, I’m all ears.

Normally I’d quote Mark Twain and say you can only write what you know so go out and have some experiences. However, right now we’re all fighting some sort of isolation or another, and that’s not really a possibility. Honestly? Have you ever thought of getting a cat? Dog? Loads of rescue organizations need people to foster during this time so you could get one for a trial run?

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For me, writing is probably when I feel least alone. I’m with my characters, my world – it’s my escape. I usually only feel lonely when I’m around people I can’t connect with.

Recently I’ve begun sharing my work here online, and this network is fantastic. I can chat with people about my characters and writing habits, and we can gush over each other’s stories. But it requires work on my part; I have to read their stories too, provide feedback, etc. If you’re seeking that digital connection, I’d suggest working hard to support other writers (whether you’re accomplished or not).

I’d encourage you to (when the quarantine ends) pursue some new hobbies and meet new people. Travel if you can afford to. Join a club or get a dog. It will enhance your writing experience to get out and experience life to its fullest. “Diving into your craft” isn’t going to resolve the issue.

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I’m on board with adopting an animal from a shelter. I know a dog will give you unconditional love and be happy to see you all the time. Take time to play with a cat to get a sense of their personality.

Seriously. I don’t know what I would do without my cats. They depend on me, and they comfort me. They may not be the most cuddliest cats but they love me.

Anyway, I know what you mean about feeling lonely even though you feel so accomplished when writing. We find joy in writing, but once we stop writing or take a break, the realities of the real world still need your attention.

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Another hobby is always helpful too and surrounding yourself with like minded people is always a good idea.

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I just read your bio. You visited North Carolina in the summer? I’m so jealous. I want to visit that state someday.

THIIIIISSSS :tired_face::ok_hand:t4::ok_hand:t4:

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Wow, I wasn’t expecting this much response. Thanks for the support, everyone. I’m still a kid, mind you, I don’t have too much control as to whether I can have a pet or not. My family does have a cat, she just isn’t too fond of me. As for the hobbies part, ordinarily I’m out hiking around Durham in my free-time, I’m planning to walk from Connecticut to Maine this summer, but the quarantine has disrupted my routines a little…

I need to find something to fill the time, I know. I don’t have too many friends anymore, but perhaps I should look into this community a bit more. I’ve always struggled to navigate Wattpad, sometimes it’s difficult to find skilled authors that aren’t quite established yet that are writing anything in my genre.

Yep, it is lonely. When my tea cup is empty and when the remote is a little too far away, I wish I had telekinesis or someone to bring me stuff. I live alone, I prefer it and I like the quiet. I get a lot of stuff done and my mom worries for my mental health for me. She asks me every time she calls me and sees me, aren’t you lonely?

I tell her no, however, I am lonely, but I like it compared to having to deal with other people in person since I’m such an introvert. I prefer texts to phone calls. This forum is great as an engagement source when my personal social meter starts to get low.

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I’m fortunate. I have a wonderful wife and daughter. A few friends I hang out with. I mean, when I’m not locked inside. About once a week I have lunch with my mother, then to the Barnes and Noble for a hot chocolate and a snack. I have a nice life. And when I write all that goes to the side and I spend enormous amounts of my time just working (writing). And when I’m not actively doing that I’m so distracted, thinking about writing, that I’m barely there even when I’m with the people in my life. It’s a lonely messed up profession; I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But the truth is you don’t really choose it; it chooses you. So yes it’s lonely and isolating, but I don’t worry too much about that. I mean, why bother worrying, I’m pretty much stuck with it anyway. And no matter what the problems associated with with being a writer are, I also like doing it.

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Indeed, the community is probably your best option during the quarantine and everything else around the virus. If you want to meet people who write the same genre as yourself, you could always participate in a discussion in your genre club. Another option is to go to the Share Your Story threads and scroll through the different ads until you find a book that you like. You could read it, provide some feedback for the author, and who knows, it might just lead to a new friendship. :blush:

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When I was at school, I shunned a lot of my friends and became a bit of a loner. It’s something I came to regret.

So much so that when I went to college, I kind of reversed the situation. I was so scared of being alone that I prioritized making and keeping friends over everything else. I was happier, but the balance wasn’t right either.

With this in mind, I have a few pieces of advice:

  1. Think about what you want? What’s the ideal balance for you, in terms of time with friends and time to yourself and your writing?
  2. Remember that this time will pass. You might feel alone now, but if your profile is correct and you’re seventeen, then you’re about to move on to college, or a job. You will have loads of new opportunities to connect with people.
  3. Remind yourself that you are in control. It’s up to you how you spend your time and if you choose to connect with others. It can be hard to reinvent yourself at school if you’ve already established yourself as a loner, but it is possible.
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When I write, there’s no part of me that feels lonely: I’m too caught up in the act.

I live in a remote spot with few friends nearby, so I ought to feel lonelier than I do. But I grew up being mostly alone, a semi-feral child, so I guess it’s something I learned to deal with. I also spend time with the dog and cat, and outdoors, watching the weather and wildlife. There’s always something to catch my eye.

Strangely, when I publish a piece on WP, I have no expectation that it’ll be read. I do some routine networking, a few posts on the SYS threads (which seem to have little effect). No read-for-read or compulsory book club things. The main purpose in publishing, for me, is to get the story out of my head so I can start something new.

(Noted your plan to do a long walk. If you want to start a tramping and camping thread, tag me for suggestions. I used to write gear reviews for outdoor mags and websites.)

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I had no friends in school or college… Even during the period I was working I had nobody I could trust

Writing was my only friend, writing is still one of my best friends, and yes, it can become lonely but you can find someone you can trust to tell your secrets too.

For me, it is my best friend who I see once a year but talk to every single day. She reads my work, tells me if I should change anything.

At home, I now have a 2 year old dog who is my best friend and I tell her things that I wouldn’t tell my own family.

Hello!

How are you?

Oh Well… I always feel happy when i’m writing, because i can concentrate on my characters and my stories.

Loneliness is just not the same as being alone.

That’s very true.