YA Pitch: Fame at First Sight

Hi! I’m finally executing an idea that I’ve had for a while for a YA novel. I’d love some feedback on the plot/character arcs/ideas/ending. I’m very new to this so I’ll take all the help I can get with this WIP! Thanks!

Title: “Fame At First Sight”

Plot: Your modern day “meet-cute.” After flying to New York City for a class trip to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Kaia, a straight edge photography student from Florida quite literally bumps into Hollywood’s newest heartthrob, Jonathan Banks. Even though he attempts to hide his identity with a disguise, paparazzi captures the encounter at the Met and the tabloids begin to wonder, who is Jonny’s new mystery girl? After his manager lures Kaia into his life with an offer she can’t refuse of a fake relationship publicity stunt, she fails to fall in love with him, but instead falls in love with the fame. This may be a love story, but not between two people.

Summary

PART ONE:

Intro: Kaia is in her advanced senior photography class critique, her latest project being evaluated by her peers and professor.

Professor Ingram, who was a famous NYC Photographer when she was younger is being presented with an award for her new photography exhibit at the Met Museum. The Museum is funding her advanced class to come fly out and see the exhibit.

Kaia invites her best friend Coty to tag along on the trip, because they were planning on moving to NYC together after college. But after Coty and her boyfriend of 6 years break up, Coty backs out.

Kaia wants to stay home and be there for Coty, but she needs to learn to be selfish so Kaia has to embark on the big move after graduation on her own.

The class meet their professor at the airport, (the other 5 students and personalities are introduced here.) They explore NYC nightlife and after a dramatic night of encountering the wrong people, they end up drunkingly getting pizza and discussing each other’s struggles and passions and dreams.

After her professor’s speech and exhibit, Kaia walks around the Met alone and a young guy in dark clothing, a big hat and sunglasses praises her taste in art and the camera around her neck.

Oblivious to the whispering and stares, she’s unaware that it’s Hollywood’s hottest and upcoming actor, Jonathan Banks. He notices the paparazzi coming, grabs her hand and they run out of the museum together and end up in the tabloids.

After the realization of who she ran off with, she has no interest and goes back to her classmates, not realizing she dropped her business card when she dropped her purse on the way out.

She gets back to the hotel and receives a text from an unknown number: “Hey it’s Jon.”

PART TWO
After Jonathan’s manager/uncle questions him on this mystery girl, he has an idea of a proposition for this random girl.

They invite Kaia to lunch and offer to pay for her new apartment when she moves to NYC after graduation if she would be in a fake publicized relationship with Jonathan.

After stipulations and all the right answers to her questions, she agrees.

She stays in NYC after her classmates leave. Jon’s team move her into the Plaza Hotel and she starts to get used to the car service, the events, unlimited buffets and her name constantly in everyones mouth.

She tries drugs for the first time at after parties, is always drinking, and her eating disorder she overcame returns. She even kisses Jonathan’s uncle back when he puts the moves on her, until Jonathan walks in and finds them.

While she completely forgets that her dreams and passion for photography were the main reason she wanted to move to NYC and falls in love with the glamour, Jonathan falls in love with her.

(ending is unfinished, still figuring it out)

Intended Audience: teen/young adult
Genre: Young Adult, Chick-Lit
Length: TBA
Character arcs:

  • Kaia goes from being a selfless, predictable straight edge to disregarding the consequences of her poor fame-contrived actions.
  • Jonathan forgets about the movie career he’s worked so hard for and would give it all up for a girl who doesn’t feel the same way.
  • Kaia lost all the most important people in her life due to the “importance” of fame.

Notes:
*Switches btwn both Kaia’s and Jonathan’s POV.
*This started as a Timothee Chalamet fan-fiction.

Thank you so much for offering this service. I look forward to hearing from you!

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I’m happy to see the Title as “Fame at first sight”

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AYIIIII, I like this :slight_smile:

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I’m looking forward to see Nick’s answer too :smile:

(Note to myself: read the summary before reading Nick’s post here)

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Thank you! It felt right the more I wrote and thought about it. As a Chick-Lit fan myself, I would have personally picked up the title if I saw it on a shelf!

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Thank YOU! means so much :slight_smile:

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me too!!!

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No problem! :slight_smile:

:smile: Best of luck with your book!!

thank you, excited!!!

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Perhaps part of the reason that you’re struggling with an ending is that part two is a different conflict than part one, and part one’s conflict never got resolved. This is a common issue I see in here and something to be very cautious of creeping into your work.

Your initial set up is of a young woman who never takes for herself and who finally steps up and decides to go out on this trip to New York. While there, she is presented with a chance to say she partied with a celebrity, but she fails to recognize them and passes on the chance, once again failing to rise up and be selfish or do what she really wants (I think, it’s a little unclear here).

After that point, she’s propositioned into fake dating him and goes down a path of partying and drugs. This is a different plot. That type of plot is typically kicked off at the start so it can see its own conclusion. Instead it happens in the middle of an existing one.

One of the major issues with him tracking down her and proposing the fake dating is that it strips your character of her agency. She is the one making choices and deciding things, but in the second half, she’s more along for the ride and a victim of circumstance. I would say to either do one plot or the other. Part one looks and feels significantly stronger, I think it’s perfectly fine exactly how it is, so I would recommend it be the one you stick by.

In that plotline, what is your character’s arc? She needs to learn to be selfish, to pursue things. It’s great she turns him down. She should then later regret this and go on a bit of a bumpy mini quest to find this guy and have a night of partying. While partying, she gets a bit too drunk for her liking, maybe she pushes him off of her and stumbles out into the city, spending the rest of the evening crying in an alley. She later checks her phone and finds that Coty has been something something (gone missing, family illness, needed her in a crisis, whatever) and she missed it during a party she didn’t even enjoy. She’s overstepped her her selfishness and gone too far into the end. She resolves to maybe get an apartment in Queens or Brooklyn and stay comfortably quiet on the edge: she still wants to be in NYC but she doesn’t want to lose herself to it. End. Or whichever. Something that maintains the narrative through to the final scene and doesn’t bring in new conflict.

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True, there is a line of consistency to follow through. In the case of the first conflict not being solved. There are ways to do this, but it leads to a very complicated route. As if the first conflict is not resolved. Usually it will be of expectance to be concluded in the second part, right?

Providing you are going chronologically.

If they are going with both plot lines. I believe a third installment might be of necessity here. However, focusing consistently on one plot can end it. I think I see what they are trying to do. Have both of the plots connect, but there is something missing to tie it together. If the first is stronger, the second is open ended, then the third will have to tie it together.

The thing is though, this form of style requires a bit more careful planning. As events constantly have to tie together. If this is a first draft however. It can be remedied with a thorough rewrite.

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@EdgeValmond @nick Thank you so much for your reply! It got the gears in my brain to grind harder. I guess the MC’s main conflict is: “She was trying to get out of her comfort zone and move to NYC to pursue her dreams of being a photographer but never having the courage to do it.” But once she accidentally stumbles into that world of fame, greed and substances, she loses sight of what was really important to her(photography and creating art). Then when she loses all the important people in her life (her best friends, the respect of her parents and eventually losing Jon to a bad accident) the losses in her life help her in the end realize the selfish person she grew to be.

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@EdgeValmond @nick for Kaia: its character vs. society. After being accidentally pushed into the fame-obsessed world, she loses sense of herself and what is important to her. For Jonathan: it’s maybe character vs. himself? All he wanted was to act, that’s what he loved, but he accidentally became famous and wanted normalcy. He fell in love with Kaia and was risking his career for someone who didn’t feel the same way back. In the end, it landed him in the ground and her having to live with it.

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Super interesting! I’ve never heard of a book where love was unrequited like this. A girl falling in love with fame instead of a boy is such a fresh idea (to me, at least). It sounds like Kaia will go through a lot of conflict , growth (?), and change as she starts to become more famous. Good luck with your book!

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aw yay thank you! this means so much! I’d be happy to share it with you once its farther along:)