Just a really gag-ish scene from Cambion:

Greta: Hello, have you seen my friend around? He’s naked and lost again.
Guy: How does he look like?
Greta: Tall, blonde, and green eyes.
Guy: That’s how a common Kivan man looks like! Be specific, woman!
Greta: Aw come on! He’s really, really good-looking, he wouldn’t be that hard to miss!
Guy: That could be any man!
Greta: He’s has very pink nipples!
Guy: I DON’T NEED TO KNOW THAT! Fine! I’ll help you look for him!


“Damn girl, are you a shitmagnet? You almost turned yourself into roadkill!”
Another one of my favourites:
“You knocked me unconscious?”
“I panicked.”


This is very relatable :joy:


Don’t ya just hate it when you knock someone unconscious? So annoying.


knocks out someone who snuck up behind
Not again…


I also have one along the lines of “You’re not getting rid of me so soon. You still need to give me my shoes back.”
The characters is on her death bed


Aaaaah shite :joy::joy::joy::joy:


From The Legend of the Moonflower Princess (Where the Whereabouts of a Prince are Glimpsed and a New Threat Arrives):

" Oh , how I want to hurt you ," the prince continued, his voice quieting once more, “I want to break open your chest with my bare hands and take out your heart. I want to feel it beating in my hand. I want to see everything in your mind and extract anything that could be of use to me . I want to watch you choke out your sins as you slowly, painfully, excruciatingly die . I want to throw you in my Garden and listen to your pathetic, sniveling cries for all eternity. Do you hear them?”

-Kane Gin Shita


(about Amneris) “Did she try to kill you?” Zoe asked.

In this household that was a totally normal question. Leo shook his head. “No. She said she wouldn’t kill unless Jay went in there.”

“I shall stay out here,” Jay decided, dumping his book on the low-lying table. “I value my life.”

“Afterlife,” Dan corrected, picking up the book. He gave Jay a questioning look. “Where did you even get this?”

Carmin took the book out of her husband’s hands. “How do you read this stuff?”

“Unlike you, vision girl, I have taste.”


Leo glanced over to read the title. Whatever it was, it sounded like romance. He made a vomiting gesture. Jay took the book back from Carmin and threw it at him. It bounced off the ebony shield he created. The assassin flipped off the general.


He snorts derisively and produces a bent joint, seemingly out of thin air, and then rummages around in his pockets for a lighter.

“Could you please not do that in front of me?” I say.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m your stepfather, and it’s irresponsible.”

“I wonder,” he says. “Do you retain the title even though you didn’t defend it? I mean, Mom’s dead, and we’re in a kind of gray area here, legally speaking. Now, if you were my legal guardian-”

“Fine,” I say. “Fire it up. Just spare me the lecture.”

He lights up, sucking so hard that I can hear the crinkling whisper of the immolating paper, and we sit there quietly in our little Hallmark moment, my stoner stepson and me.

“You know,” he says thoughtfully after a few minutes, “if you think about it, he’s only my father because he happens to have slept with my mother.”

“Right. You know, that’s actually something I try really hard never to think about.”

“All I’m saying is that by those standards, you’re equally qualified. More so, actually, since he demonstrated poor moral character.”


To kill or not to kill, that is the question,

To murder someone is simply the objective

But to let them live simply out of reliance to the law

It is nothing short of intelligence,

Is it right to kill someone because I am angry?

Is it right to kill someone for revenge?

NO, tis not but I shall do it anyway

To honour the man that I love

The one who saved me from hell,

Who became someone I would do anything for;

To finally be able to get rid of the man who stole his heart from me

I will break you, O’ Captain, My Captain.”


Was I just a pin cushion for Master’s amusement? He promised me the world… but for him, I would’ve given the universe. ~ Mint


That’s not how it goes…or HaVe MY chIldhOOD beEn A LIe?


Awwww :frowning:


“I have a potted plant to support and I’m looking at getting a new tattoo. Mostly the tattoo. Fergus the fern will outlive us all. She’ll probably change her name when she turns eighteen though.” - Evan

“I like those shoes, by the way. Sorry if I get blood on them.” - Evan

“You don’t hit a man after complimenting his shoes. What kind of savage are you?” - Frankie

“I got blood on your shoes and I think you’re kneeling in my piss” - Evan

“After over a hundred little dickheads waving their jokes around my classroom, I doubt you can come up with anything original or meaningfully hurtful. Go back to sulking. It was really taking me back to babysitting my little cousin when I was fourteen. If you throw a big enough tantrum, everyone might change their mind about you and you can go back to whatever monumentally important trouble you were in before.” - Mr Baxter, Professor of Literature and definitely not a former spy, tired of Evan’s nonsense


Is Evan okay?


On one hand, yes. He won the fight. The fight took place in an alley where Evan had just relieved himself hence the bodily fluids and the, “You don’t hit a man after complimenting his shoes” line in the middle.
On the other hand, no. He’s antisocial, confrontational and compulsively defiant of authority figures with narcissistic tendencies, a serious smoking habit and he keeps picking fights with criminals. Emotionally, he is not okay.



I thought he was tied to a chair getting tortured, but that’s a much nicer answer for Evan.


From Evan’s perspective, it’s more like flirting.

“If the wife leaves you, come find me. I still think you’re pretty, even with a broken nose.” Evan, a gracious winner.