I like the whimsical tone this creates, though it strikes me as an odd place to start a story. Usually if time is moving slowly, that means it’s tedious or boring, so why do I want to read about it? But there’s conflict already from the word “death”… Without knowing anything about the story besides this line, I’m intrigued but uncertain.
I walked in the middle of the black road, lit only by torches and the sunlight that the ash clouds let through when they parted.
This is the opening line of the Dance of the Marquis, first book in a trilogy, its out on here now (another shameless plug)
For my YA Action/Superhero book, Red Skies, the first line goes like this:
Chase wasn’t a big fan of parties.
Not mine, but my all time favorite opening lines from The Prize by Julie Garwood:
He never knew what hit him.
One minute Baron Royce was wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his
leather-covered arm, and the next he was flat on his back on the ground.
She had knocked him off his feet. Literally.
hehe. . . my opening line is “Hi, I’m CDM333!” Showstopper right!?
I’m planning to completely get rid of the first section of my book after I’m done writing it and onto editing, but for now this will have to do.
My book, Dark Skies which I just started binge writing after years of it being in my head!
“The little girl stood staring with contempt hatred at the temple of the gods.”
I really like this
man that was powerful
Not sure if it is a typo but “contempt hatred” is redundant. Eliminate one of the words so you aren’t repeating yourself.
thank you for the feedback! You’re right, I’m gonna take out that redundancy
I don’t have a perfect opening line. I don’t even know where my opening begins or ends. Witness me.
For a time, it was only Percy. Day in and day out, kicking around in his cell. Hours faded like the green dye of his hair as he bounced between every cell block like a kid after a ball.
The Wanderer From Duphia, Aspa
It began with a dream and ended with her first steps.
[This is the beginning of my prologue, Into Bracery Thickets. The story itself is a work in progress and isn’t published, yet.]
it’s my favorite one
“A silent thunder struck far away. A storm was coming…” I don’t really think it’s good enough tho it’s going to be my last line. Or like a catastrophe what that storm has done.
Thunder - a loud rumbling or crashing noise heard after a lightning flash due to the expansion of rapidly heated air.
By definition it is a sound that can be heard, so it can’t be silent.
Lightening strikes that are far away can be seen and then you might not hear the thunder after…
So “Lightening flashed silently in the distance.” Would make more sense.
Well my mother tongue isn’t english we have the same word for both thunder and lightning.
Ahhhh that makes sense. It is a confusing first line in English.
Yea well now you made it perfect so what do you think of it too lame?
Maybe a little cliche…
Like the classic “It was a dark and stormy night…”